MJ stood, unlaced her gloves, and dropped them directly above my aching balls. Luckily, I swatted them away before they did more damage and refrained from shoving a shadow down her cocky little throat.
“You have to figure that out. My suggestion? Do something that’d mean the world to her but make you suffer.”
“I would rather have the reverse,” I grumbled, closing my eyes and slumping back onto the ground.
“Then give up.”
Her tone had me opening my eyes. Her face had softened with a wisdom I didn’t have.
“Relationships are about giving. What have you given her? Protection? Great. It’s a start. What else? What does she know about you? What have you done for her?”
“What has she given me? What has she done for me?” I gritted out.
“If you really care about her, that doesn’t matter.”
“Oh? So my happiness doesn’t matter?”
“Being the cause of her smile wouldn’t bring you happiness?”
Well, she had me there. “Letting her save the pet was prettygivingof me.”
“Yeah, and look at you now. All you want to do is kill him. The one person she’s desperate to keep alive, not just because she’s his guardian, but because she still cares about him.” She slow-clapped. “Great giving skills, Ronen.”
My nostrils flared. “I can’t help that his existence threatens her life.”
MJ nodded, not in her derogatory way, but knowingly—understanding. “I get it. I even imagine Aspen gets it too. And yet, if you want a hope in hell of winning her over, you’re going to have to figure out a way to deal with your praesidium and jealousy. Or what you twokind ofhave is already over.”
I rolled my head back, staring unseeingly at the arena ceiling.
I wasn’t sure whether I was mentally berating myself for my actions, the unbelievable situation I found myself in, or the fact that my focus was on this and not the other important aspects of my life—like the demon infection killing blood-banded and taking over souls.
“Relationships are ridiculously hard, Ronen. They take a lot of time and effort. They take sacrifice.” She huffed, glaring at me like she couldn’t believe me. “I know you’re a little late to the game, but?—”
“Stop,” I said, my voice low and demanding. The voice I used on her when relaying orders.
She shut her mouth.
Standing slowly, I surveyed her dirtied uniform and wind-tossed braids.
There was a lot I let MJ get away with. Alexei too. They were my closest—and only—friends. I would continue to let them get away with things. But there was only so much beating I could take in a day. After Lucille lashed out at me, stabbed me, and ignored me, then the pet said those words and explained a theory that ripped my entire chest apart, I wasn’t sure how I managed to keep my cool while MJ pummeled me. Especially after everything else we saw today.
Maybe it was the bags beneath her auburn eyes. Or that she hadn’tchanged or showered yet. Or… that this was the end of Knox’s creation day, and it was a terrible ending.
When would we catch a fucking break?
“Come here.”
She listened.
I hugged her, secretly satisfied by her tension. Her first reaction to hugs was always hate. But then… she melted and hugged me back.
“I didn’t find Ridigar.” I sighed.
“Figured when I didn’t see his head impaled on the dais.”
I grunted. I’d only done that once.
“Alexei’s got less than a thirty-percent chance of keeping his wings.”
