“Give us a minute, please?” I whispered. I’d be okay. I could handle this.
She growled, whether because of Ronen or her own feelings, I wasn’t sure. But she listened, backing out of the room.
The moment I disconnected from those golden eyes, I met the guilt filling Aspen’s.
“Aspen, stop. Heavenly Hell. You made the right call.”
We lived. Focus on that, Lucy.
“I upset you.”
“My choices are being taken away from me again.”
That didn’t help him.
“I wasn’t trying to force a connection. I just wanted to give you my energy, but I couldn’t fully connect. My system kept trying to attack yours. I drained myself more trying to prevent hurting you than I did giving you energy. But once I latched on, I couldn’t extract myself until you were done. It all felt very wrong.”
My heart stopped. “So we’re not connected?”
“No.”
I covered my face as the boot digging into my sternum eased.
“I’m sorry, Lucille. I wanted to help. I didn’t mean?—”
I shot up from my chair. “Hey,” I urged gently. “I would’ve either died trying to save us, or we all would’ve been ripped apart without you. Stop with the guilt. Unless you runed yourself with the guardian bond, you’re not to blame.”
Heavenly Hell, that was hard to say. If we were officially bonded, I don’t think I would’ve been able to.
His expression remained drawn.
“When will you give yourself some grace?” I whispered, brushing a lock of hair back from his face.
“When the memories stop haunting my waking world,” he whispered back. “When I stop fucking things up.”
“You promised, one more day and night.”
“I did.”
“And after?”
Aspen dropped his gaze to the floorboards. “I’m trying, Lucille.”
I hated how broken he was. How broken we both were. It was difficult trying to be strong for him when I could barely be strong for myself. I’d be sleeping in his room tonight, and I felt like a horrible person for not wanting to. I needed a night to myself to process.
But I also needed to make sure he lived.
Chapter
Twenty-Two
Ronen
“And you—you accepted it earlier? So we’re… officially bonded?”
I ripped myself from Rune, having heard enough.
I forcefully dried myself off and changed into workout clothes. Sure as hell wouldn’t be sleeping tonight. Why did I even bother showering?
