“You don’t want to see her? Find closure or…” I couldn’t say it. I couldn’t tell him to seek comfort in her arms when the mere thought hurt, which only frustrated me.
“Her death was the end of my hope. The end of what little love I had found within my numbed emotions. I stopped fighting the useless battle of the Hell Rune. I killed. I serviced Lilith. I gave up my soul. Until I found you.” He shook his head. “But I don’t deserve closure. And she sure as hell doesn’t need to see the face that failed to protect her.”
“You had no other choice,” I protested, remembering the dream-walk of Nalini’s death.
He scoffed. “Tell me, does that excuse work for the horrendous things I did to you?”
I opened my mouth, and nothing came out.
He turned and melted the ice wall. Our guardian bond shone in intricate detail across his shoulder blades and down his spine. The indigo wings were painted over hundreds of raised scars.
My stomach sank at the trauma caused by each one of those Hell Runes.
Before he left, he paused.
“Whatever you want, Lucille. A sliver. The whole moon. For me to leave. Just tell me, and it’s yours.”
He walked out, and I sat there torn with indecision.
Chapter
Twelve
Ronen
My shadows slammed inside my body like the roaring wind against the castle as I moved far and fast away from her rooms. They wanted to go back to her. Them. And they weren’t alone. Rune padded behind me, slower, sulking. Probably hoping Lucille would call her back. That wasn’t going to happen. Nor did I want it to.
She forced us out. She stayed with him. I would not subject my eyes, ears, or mind to whatever was going on in that bathroom. I added yet another layer to the fortress between us, refusing to allow even her strongest emotions to breach my walls. I did not want to feel?—
Acid churned in my gut. Its corrosive bite sank into my power. The wide stone stairwell switched from dark gray to deep blue under my infrared vision. Two blood-banded maids coming up the stairs took one look at me and abruptly stopped. Their wicker baskets creaked beneath their punishing hold. Their bright heat signatures shook the closer I came.
For fuck’s sake.
I had nothing against human blood-banded. But they spooked easily, especially around me. I tried to smile as I eased the pressure frommy eyes. Their garish colors bled away as my vision adjusted, sharpening into knotted brown hair, crimson-and-white dresses, and two pale, wide-eyed faces. They pressed back against the gray stone, the linens in their baskets wobbling like the flames inside the sconces above their heads.
Rune approached them slowly. Their shaking increased.
Rune, you’re huge and swallow people whole. Back.
She sat on the stairs, calming her shadow fur so it moved less and she appeared more like a dog. It didn’t help.
I tried to raise my hands in an appeasing gesture as I walked toward them. Two steps away, Lucifer’s blizzard crashed against the window at my back. They yelped and took off up the stairs. Rune, being a menace from Hell, chomped her teeth and growled after them. They squeaked. One tripped. Linens flew.
Helpful.
Rune’s sulking mood lightened a touch.
“Why did I even bother?”
She bounded down the stairs, her fur dancing with humor.
We continued through the castle and stopped at the healers’ wing. Hopefully, Sam had some insight into the infection that I could give Lucifer. Maybe that would calm the blizzard hindering my Dreads’ efforts.
Only a few assistant healers made rounds on the sleeping patients. We steered clear of them, heading toward Sam’s lab.
I knocked on his door and waited. No answer.
I knew he wasn’t sleeping.
