Heavenly, I didn’t want to say the words, but I had to hurt him enough that he wouldn’t seek me out.
I sent him a larger dose of fear and anger. “Michael is always there for me. I never have to sneak around and hide from an entire world with him. I’m not hisweakness. I don’t have to risk my soul for him. He takes care of me and…” I glanced up at the layer of ice overtaking the crystalline frost, knowing what would happen next. I lowered my head, stared him dead in the eye, sent him a surge of negative energy, and said, “Plus, he makes me moan louder and more often than you have—or ever could.”
Ice exploded from the ceiling, walls, and floor. It shatteredhis windows and whipped around us in a deadly storm. Little pieces sliced through my clothing, stinging my skin.
“Get. Out.”
I shrugged, holding back my threatening tears. “There’s nothing more you could do for me anyway. You gave it your best shot.” I nodded at his covered cock, adding salt to his wounds. And my own.
“Get out!” he bellowed as ice pelted my body.
I shoved down my guilt, gave him one last long look, and luscelered out of his room and out of Hell. Once I passed through the gates and entered the thick evergreen forest, I fell to my knees and sobbed—for shattering the heart of the one person I loved, all for the sake of a miracle baby and the events Miriam foretold.
It took me hundreds of years to realize that, to exact my revenge, I could no longer abide by Heaven’s laws.
And eventually, I agreed with Miriam.
The celestial world needed to burn and be made anew.
Chapter
One
Lucille
She will sacrifice her life to keep you breathing. And I willnotlose my cordistella in service to the likes of you.
Ronen’s words sluiced through my blood like a shock of cold water. The damp air clawing into my bones, the musty mold scent, and the grimy stone of Hell’s dungeon faded away as I stared at Aspen.
My ears rang.
My heart thundered.
My lungs failed to find air.
A sharp ache speared through our connection. It added to the unbearable weight already on my chest. I didn’t need his pain. Or his guilt. I was already drowning.
Still, my fingers twitched, itching to soothe him. I didn’t know if that was because of the compelling urge from our guardian bond or because, for whatever reason, I didn’t hate him.
I wanted to.
That foreign feeling, that urgency, was what pushed my body to break and collapse during training. It constantly wanted more from me. It forced me to focus on how to save him instead of my mom. Even afterhe manipulated me. Even after he used me and broke me. I chose him over her.
I should hate him. Blame him.
ButIchose to use the last of my mother’s energy to save us from Lilith. To save everyone but my mom. I killed her. Me. Forbothof them.
I turned away from Aspen and finally faced Ronen.
His sword hung limp by his side, his face drawn and weary. The shadows that had swarmed his infuriated gaze were absent, as if sucked away by his damning confession. He stepped forward, raising his hand toward my cheek. I jerked back, bumping into Aspen and stiffening. My mind warred with the familiar comfort of his heat and heartache. Ronen’s lips tightened, and his knuckles whitened as he clenched the hilt of his sword. I didn’t know if he was upset by my rejection or the fact that I hadn’t moved away from Aspen.
But I was paralyzed, caught between the two males I was bonded to—the two males I killed my mom for.
Tremors vibrated through my legs, and knots twisted in my stomach. I lifted my forlorn gaze over Ronen’s shoulder and through the dark cell bars to Alexei and MJ. They waited quietly in my deafening silence, their expressions solemn. Neither one seemed surprised by Ronen’s words. If they were, I imagined the only surprise was the fact that I was Aspen’s guardian. As for being Ronen’s cordistella—they knew. Their words from days ago finally made sense. I wish I could fault them for withholding the truth. But as Alexei said, “It wasn’t his answer to give.”
“How long?” I whispered, training my eyes back on Ronen.
He tensed, and I knew before he even spoke.
