“That time has long passed, Hellion.”
“I’m not so sure about that.”
He prowled toward me, and I couldn’t help myself—I backpedaled. I didn’t want to. For once, I wanted the upper hand. Yet, when he had me alone, in his proximity, held beneath his penetrating gaze, my heart stumbled.
It was as easy as breathing to give in to his magnetic pull. His molten eyes, the confidence woven through the way he held himself, his deep tenor. Heavenly Hell, he drugged me with his presence. Even now, my Infernus hummed beneath my skin, content to melt in the embrace of home.
It scared me.
Was it the bond making me feel this way? If we didn’t have a connection, would that change things? Did it matter?
I shook myself and luscelered around the table he almost had me backed against, putting much-needed space between us. His perfectly shaped lips tilted into a smirk. He knew exactly what he was doing to me.
Clenching my teeth, I wrapped my overeager Infernus around my mind, completely cutting off both bonds. My Infernus revolted, almost forcing me to release it, but I held strong.
Ronen hissed, the gold in his irises flashing black. “What did I tell you about blocking me?”
I laughed. “Do you actually hear yourself?”
He crossed his arms, waiting for me to elaborate.
My laughter dropped. “You are the biggest hypocrite in Hell,” I snapped. “You tell me not to block our bond because why? You like knowing my every emotion? You like feeling my essence and knowingI’m okay? You don’t like the throbbing pain that comes when you’re cut off?” My voice rose with each sentence. The shadows covering his golden irises immediately vanished, as if it had finally dawned on him what he was doing to me.
“Don’t tell me you didn’t know. There’s no way you were blind to the pain you’re causing me, so the only reasonable explanation is that you’re using it against me, like you use the damned tingles and the small pieces of feeling you like to spear at me when it’s most convenient foryou.” I wouldn’t admit that sometimes it had helped me. “Like you used me in training today to fulfill some vendetta you had against me after I protected Aspen in the Shard Field!”
My accusations ricocheted off the bookshelves. I was sure Cato could hear every word, but I didn’t care. Let him hear what an asshole Ronen was. Let him hear about our bond.
Ronen luscelered around the table and pinned me to the nearest bookshelf, his hand wrapping around my throat and forcing me to tilt my head up to meet his heated gaze.
“I was not using you. I am not a manipulative piece of shit like?—”
He stopped too late, his tongue pressing against his cheek after realizing his mistake.
“Aspen,” I finished for him. My blood practically boiled beneath my skin, and my Infernus sang threats in my ears, finally back on my side. “It’s ironic that you think yourself so much better than him when, once upon a time, you were just like him. Runed and bound to a ruler who made you do horrible things. I can only imagine the manipulative bullshit you did in service to Etan.” I added the last part just to piss him off.
Pain tightened his features, and he dropped his hand and stepped back, glancing away as a muscle pulsed in his jaw. It only took seconds, but it felt like minutes before he gathered himself and looked back at me. His shadows guarded his eyes, hiding the hurt I’d witnessed.
“I admit I’ve been pissed at you, and it affected my choices,” he forced out. “But there was still a purpose to putting you in charge.”
I crossed my arms. “Which was?”
He shook his head, this time laughing in disbelief. “Why did everyone in your squad get picked off, Hellion? What was the difference between your squad and theNightmares?”
That one was obvious. “They worked as a unified team.”
“Exactly. No one went off on their own. No one tried to take on more than they could chew. They worked together. Are you following yet?”
“I don’t understand what that has to do with saving Aspen.”
Ronen grabbed my chin, dropping his face a little too close. “It has nothing to do with him. And everything to do with you. I am sick and tired of seeing you charge into the unknown alone and risk everything I value.”
He paused, letting that sink into my sputtering heart before releasing me and straightening.
“I am here. Oliver, Alexei, MJ, Rune, and even the—Aspen are here. Your team. Your unit. Talk to us, listen to us, and stop making me worry beyond sound thought.”
He implored me with the desperation in his tone and furrowed brows.
I’d scared him.
