Finally my centaur calms. Pleased with himself.
As the dust settles, I look out into the cold, dark night.
Stumbling along the dark driveway.
Is Wes.
55
It’s so cold.
So dark.
I pull at the well Lumina inside me, trying to move some light out into this abyss. But the shadows push back, resisting my feeble attempts.
Come on, do this. I can do this.
Fuck. I don’t even know which way to turn. I’m in the inky blackness of Janine Hart’s what?
Her brain? Her soul?
Does she even have one of those?
Wherever I am, I hate it.
I know that somewhere there is a path to follow, but currently I feel like a small lost child trapped down a dank well. Holding my hands in front of me, I blindly channel a little light into my fingertips. It makes the snaking black tentacles retreat just a fraction.
Then I can see something up ahead.
What?
Like a burnished sheet acting as a mirror. It pushes forward a smoky image and my eyes cannot look away.
I’m hungry for what I’m seeing. A teenage girl. Her long dark hair plastered to her skull.
She hurries through a rain-soaked street, something clutched in her arms. I can feel her panic, her tension, her bitterness and anger.
“Not mine, not mine, not mine,” she whispers like a mantra.
The bundle in her arms starts to wail.
“No, you have to go,” the girl hisses.
My heart breaks for her as pushes through the doors of a busy bright building. Her pace doesn’t slow until she reaches a restroom. Pushing open the door, the stark lighting makes the girl seem impossibly pale. She walks forward and lays the blanket, then the baby inside the ceramic sink. Turning on a heel, she leaves without looking back.
“Never wanted”a voice sighs somewhere deep inside me.“Left alone…”
The vision changes. Gods. It’s my own mother and father. They’re leaning over a crib, looking down at a sleeping toddler. Me. “I can’t do this,” Mum sobs. “It’s too much.” My father agrees, hugging her close. “But what choice do we have?”
My whole body starts shaking.“Obligation,”sings the whisper in my head.“Duty not love.”
Something inside me crumbles. The connection between me and my parents turns to dust, and I fall to my knees.
Opal didn’t want me, nor did my parents.
“But I want you, Theo.”
I drag my gaze up and meet eyes with Janine.
