KC smirked, clearly aware of exactly what he’d done by putting Oliver in his jersey. “He looks sexy this way, right?”
“So fucking sexy.” I licked my lips, ready to get my tongue on Oliver any way I could. It was a shame they had classes today or I’d drive them home so I could spend some quality time with them on my dick.
“I want to get in the back,” KC said, and I raised my eyebrows as I slid out of the car and yanked my seat forward, giving him room to slide in. I watched the way his ass flexed in his jeans and how his black T-shirt with a vintage motorcycle print rode up, giving me the delicious treat of smooth, creamy skin. My mouth watered for a taste.
Oliver scrunched up his face but didn’t argue as he went around to the passenger’s seat. Once we were all in the car, I reversed Shakira and headed in the direction I’d come, more than a little glad I didn’t have any run-ins with KC’s pa. I didn’t need to give him another chance to throw me through a glass coffee table.
“Talk,” KC said bluntly from behind me. “What you did last night was shitty.”
I bit back the urge to snap aggressively. What he said was true, but it was in my nature to defend myself, and it took every ounce of my willpower not to say something stupid. I wasn’t fucking perfect, far from it, and now I had to prove to them that I wastrying. It was in my personality to shut down and add a cold, hard wall between me and people, but that was what got me in trouble in the first place.
Fuck. I didn’t know how to do this. How to be in a relationship.
Oliver looked at me, fiery brown eyes equally defensive and sad, and I knew I had to tuck my defenses deep behind my rib cage where they couldn’t be found. Oliver deserved the best version of me. So did KC.
“I don’t know how to do this.” I clenched my teeth. “I don’t do relationships.”
KC’s hand landed on my shoulder, and I jumped. My sleeveless white muscle shirt meant we were skin to skin, and he always had a warm, comforting touch.
“Talk.” KC raised his eyebrows. “I know it’s hard, but you need to tell us why you acted the way you did, how you were feeling. If you want this to work, Ren, you need to help us understand you. We’ve barely known you for a month, and the first few weeks feel like a lie. You dated us to get revenge on Barber. So, give us the real Ren, the one who makes us laugh and smile. Tell us what’s happening in your head.”
How was he so smart? I had years on him, but I felt like a real rookie.
“Oli was hurt by your reaction,” KC said, firmness in his tone. It always warmed me how protective KC was, especially when it came to Oliver. There was no doubt Oliver could defend himself. I’d seen his claws when I’d chased him in the alley the week we’d first met, but he was also soft and gentle. There was a reason I’d given him the nickname Kitten.
“I know and I didn’t mean it.” I winced. “Well, I did, but not in the way you think.”
I really,reallysucked at this. It didn’t help that I had no healthy relationships to use as role models. My parents barely talked on a good day. My sister and her husband were as cold as ice and never touched each other. My brother had married his high school sweetheart and treated her as though her rolewent as far as a mother and housewife. None of my friends were married or had partners. They were the kind of guys who ran wild.
“I’m mad at myself, okay?” I watched the road as we passed over the bridge toward the city, twisting my hands on the steering wheel. “You didn’t tell us you were a virgin, and I was rough with you. Ihurtyou. Not even the sluttiest of sluts handle my piercings well unless they love pain. And the first cock you got was mine with my piercings. And now I’m pissed you didn’t tell me you were a virgin because I’m an asshole, but not that much of an asshole, you know? I would’ve been gentler on you. For fuck’s sake, Kitten, you should’ve told me.”
Oliver made his angry kitten face again. “I didn’t tell you because you were acting like a dick. You would’ve made fun of me.”
I wanted to deny it, but there was a chance I might’ve. At that stage, I’d enjoyed pissing Oliver off and he hadn’t been my main target. But still, I liked to think I wouldn’t have hurt him purposely.
“Maybe,” I admitted, and the confession was acid on my tongue, especially when Oliver looked at me with an expression that tore my heart out and stomped on it. “Listen, Oliver, I am an asshole. A dick. A prick. Whatever you want to call me. I can’t promise I won’t fuck up and make mistakes. I’m not great at this whole feelings thing.” I huffed out a breath. “But I’m trying because I want to be with you and KC. I love you both. You dropped this on us last night and I got a little freaked out, you know? I hate how I hurt you the first time we fucked.”
Oliver’s cheeks flushed and he buried his face into his palms, bent in half so he could hide farther between his knees. “It’s fine. I enjoyed what you did.”
But it wasn’t fine, not as far as I was concerned. The last thing I wanted was to become a selfish asshole like Father.
“It isn’t. And I shouldn’t have acted the way I did last night.”I’m sorry. It was easier to think the words than say them. They got caught on my tongue, and no matter how hard I tried to force them out, they stayed stuck. I turned Shakira in the direction of the college and sighed. “So yeah, I’m a dick.”
“You are.” KC squeezed my shoulder. I’d forgotten his hand was still there. “But you’re our dick. And your dick is our dick, too.”
Oliver and I laughed.
“All right, Kansas.”
KC grumbled under his breath. “That is the stupidest nickname in history.”
“It’s the best. I’m fucking amazing.” I waggled my eyebrows in the rearview mirror.
“Modest, too.” KC snickered.
Oliver shook his head in exasperation, softness returning to his face. “Am I coming to the shop this afternoon?”
I exhaled. “Nah. I got a message from Luke on the way here. He wants us to go over to Errol’s tonight. Something about getting out the smoker. He told me to bring you both.”
