Or was it my dad? Did he stop my mom? Was he trying to keep me as his little girl for as long as he could?
The letter goes blurry in my hand, and I shuffle backward to my bed, my chest aching like someone has reached in and ripped out my heart. Blindly, I reach around under the blankets until my hand latches on to something fluffy, and I pull until I have Blue in my arms.
Not giving a shit that I’m crinkling up Hudson’s letter, I squeeze Blue to my chest and wish he could hug me back.
Eventually, I lie back down, Hudson’s letter on my bedside table and my body curled around Blue, eyes closing against my will.
As much as I want the gifts to stop, a part of me hopes they never will.
Because if they do, that means that they finally took me at my word.
Chapter 34
Emery
Slinging my backpack onto my shoulder as I step out into the morning sunshine, I tell myself that no one will know I have Blue in my bag. It’s not bulky or unzippable, and there is no bear fluff hanging out. It’s fine.
I just need to stop thinking about it. Besides, so what if people see me with a teddy bear in public? Tiny humans who have onlya few syllables available to them shouldn’t have a monopoly on the carrying of stuffies in public.
It’s totally fine.
Maybe not normal, but fine for sure.
The air is cool against my skin, the warmth of the sun barely breaking through. The sensation threatens to ruin the start of my Monday because it means fall is almost here, which means we are one step closer to winter, and I hate winter.
The only places I feel warm in winter are the shower, sitting directly in front of a heater or fire, or snuggled up to another human being. Since dorm rules state we can’t have a fire or heater in our room, and I highly doubt Oakley will let me snuggle up with her, it looks like I’ll be back to long showers.
Tapping my phone, it shows me the preview of the rideshare app and that the car I booked to take me to my appointment with Dr. Everett is about two minutes away. Picking up my speed, I head along the path to the student parking.
I’m going to blame the fact that I didn’t notice the massive black SUV parked in one of the visitors spots or the man leaning against the hood of the car on the fact that I was swiping socials on my phone.
It’s got nothing to with the fact that I discovered The Monarchs have an Instagram fan account and that while I may not be following it, I have looked at it enough that the algorithm serves me their posts at a higher ratio than most other accounts.
I almost manage to walk right by him and his car but stumble to a stop when I hear my name.
“Emery,” he calls out, the weight of the unspoken command sitting in the air between us.
I wheel around to gape at him, already feeling annoyance dancing around in my stomach. “What are you doing here?”
Derek stares at me for a long, drawn-out moment before straightening and gesturing at his car. “I’m here to take you to your doctor’s appointment.”
“And how, pray tell, do you know I have a doctor’s appointment?” I demand, the words clipped. They match the glare I’m sending his way.
“Because I was the one who made it for you,” he counters, his hazel eyes as nonchalant as I have ever fucking seen them.
His answer takes some of the wind out of my sails. It doesn’t help that he looks ridiculously good right now, in his work clothes and leaning up against his car, freshly shaven and hair done to perfection. The only thing missing are his sunglasses, which are on my head, acting like a headband. Hopefully he doesn’t notice them.
I cast about for anything else to make him go away or less smug, either is fine, and I finally land on the truth. “I booked an Uber.”
He shrugs. Derek. Shrugging like some moody-ass teenager. I don’t know whether to laugh or scream. “Cancel it.”
“No,” I clap back.
Derek nods and stands there, his stupid hands shoved in the stupid pockets of his stupid charcoal-gray trousers.
Thankfully, a little blue hatchback pulls into the student parking lot that matches the description of the car picking me up, and I turn back to face the oncoming car, happy with my win, since he didn’t argue back.
As the car pulls up, Derek comes to stand beside me as the driver gets out of the car and glances questioningly between Derek and myself. “Emery?”
