And since I am in the mood for ending things with people, I open the SugarLife app.
“There is something I need to talk to you about as well,” Derek states, his tone devoid of any inflection.
I glance up at him while the app loads. “Okay.”
“So, while we were…separated, we all tried to find ways to stay connected with you, while giving you the space you needed to recover from everything,” he starts off while the coffee machine makes a bunch of beeps and spitting noises.
“Uh-huh,” I reply, navigating through the app to my inbox, which also takes ages to load due to all the unread messages I have in there.
“Darcy had his art contract with you. Hudson was sending you the gifts, and then later, you had the journal you were passing back and forth. Xavier gave you the opposite of space and moved in.”
“Yeah,” I murmur in agreement as I scroll, looking for my chat with EyesOnYou, not one-hundred percent listening but still hearing his words.
“And as you know, most of your anger was directed at me, rightly so. Which means I had to be a little more creative, beyondtaking you to appointments and picking you up from that frat party.”
“Right.” Ah, there it is. Before I lose the nerve—because this person gifted me a lot of money just to watch me do, mostly, innocent things—I quickly type out a message.
Me:Hey, I wanted to send you a message letting you know I won’t be doing private lives anymore. My circumstances have changed. You know those Daddies I was telling you about? Well, we worked it out. Yay! Thank you for our time together, and I hope to see you in any public lives I do in the future! Xx
I hit send on the message, then look up at Derek, the sound of the bedroom door opening and the murmur of sleepy male voices coming from behind me. “Sorry, what were you saying?”
He takes a deep breath. “Emery, I’m Eyes—”
There is a loud SugarLife notification from the charging station, and like puppets, both our heads swivel in that direction. Really fucking conveniently, the phone at the front is Derek’s.
SugarLife
New message from SugarBB_Emmy.
My mind goes completely silent. Not a single sound. I’m pretty sure my heart may have even paused in solidarity.
Derek is EyesOnYou.
Darcy presses a kiss to the back of my head and murmurs good morning to me as I take another bite of my banana, mulling over this new piece of information, trying to see how it fits into the jigsaw that is this man. Like, I’m not even surprised, if I’m really honest. Actually, I’m a little disappointed in myself for not having figured it out sooner.
The coffee machine sputters back to life as I swallow, still staring at his screen, even after it’s gone dark.
The username is a dead giveaway.
Not EyesOnMe, as in demanding I stare at him. No.Hiseyes onme.
Taking another bite, I try to scroll through my memories of our chats and if I sent him any pictures…
It’s like my brain is buffering when I remember that fateful Thursday night, when I’d kicked the study group out and then given myself an orgasm on a private live with him. And I know there is something else about Thursdays that I’m supposed to remember…
“You play poker on Thursday nights, right?” I ask him.
Derek’s lips are compressed into a thin line. His arms are crossed over his bare chest, and his entire body screams tension and discomfort. His nod is jerky as fuck when he eventually gives it, shifting to the side as Hudson opens the cabinet to get his mug out.
I nod in understanding and go back to eating my banana.
I fucked myself with a vibrating dildo, and what, they watched it on his tiny little phone screen?
No. Wait. That’s not Derek’s style. He would have wanted life-size, so…
Swiveling, I take in the apartment, my gaze drifting over Xavier reclining in the corner of the couch, eyes closed, in nothing but sweats, before landing on the TV. Yep, that’s how Derek would have watched it, but back at his house.
I turn back to the counter and take another bite of my banana before opening my messages with EyesOnYou using my free hand and tapping out a new message.
