Knowing that Xavier would be tracking my location, if I got a cab, I could turn my phone off and pay with cash. Let them stew in the unknown for a little longer. So, I spoke to one of the drivers and explained that I needed a lift home and then to a second location, and thankfully he agreed to chauffeur me around.
The contract was on my desk, buried under a few of my textbooks. I’d spared a glance at my bracelet on my bedside table but opted to leave it there for the same reasons I’d turned my phone off. Honestly, not having it on made me feel weird, but that will be an issue I can resolve the moment I’m back at my dorm.
“Uh, okay. So, the first thing I want to change is, um, the weekends.” I trace my finger over the red ink, smoothing across the paper all the way to the edge. Keeping my breathing deep and even is proving to be difficult, especially when no one speaks right away.
“What about the weekends, princess?” Darcy prompts, and I meet his dark blue eyes, the little crinkles around the outer corners deeper than usual.
“I want to take them out of the contract.”
Darcy’s brows furrow. “As in, you only want to spend evenings with us?”
I shake my head and swallow, knowing my nerves are keeping me from explaining properly. I can do this. “I don’t want it to be just weekends. I know the contract also mentions dates during the week and whatever, but I don’t want just weekends. I wantall the time. I read about it—I think it’s twenty-four seven or something.”
“Lifestyle?” Hudson suggests, the corners of his mouth tipping up. “You want to be with us always? In a dynamic the entire time?”
I nod. “Yes, that one. But maybe not the entire time? I don’t know. I just don’t want it to feel contractual.” My hand clenches around the papers, and they crinkle a little. “I know we need this, so that we know where we stand on each thing, but I also…I don’t know, it feels like we aren’t…”
My words trail off because I have no idea what I’m trying to say exactly. Frustration sits heavily across my chest, and I look at Derek to try and get some help.
He shifts so that he can reach for my hand. “I think what you mean is, you want a relationship, rather than a contractual agreement that requires you to be with us. Less paper and more feelings? Is that right?”
I inhale deeply, until my lungs scream, and let it all out in a rush. “Yes.”
Derek grins and nods, then looks down along the couch at the others. “I think we can accept that change, what do you think?”
Hudson and Darcy make noises of agreement, and I finally bring myself to look at Xavier. His eye contact makes me wish I could hide, it’s so direct and almost intimidating.
“No dates with anyone else.”
“No dates with anyone else,” I repeat, heart feeling like it’s beating in an empty room.
He nods and settles deeper into the couch cushions.
“What else is on your list?” Darcy asks.
I glance down at the first page and check that there are no other notes for this page, then flip over to the next sheet. This one has a bit more sparkly red on it.
“This might be easier if you read through it,” I murmur and turn the paper around for them to see.
Darcy’s eyebrows shoot up, and he takes the page, eyes scanning down the list. “You’ve added a few things.”
Nodding, I glance away, because there are a few things on there that are embarrassing, but I really want to try them with my daddies. I also think they will really enjoy them. Hopefully.
With burning cheeks, I squeeze my hands in my lap. “They are negotiable, but I wanted to add them in case any of you were interested. I also, uh, changed the hard limit from before.”
Darcy’s gaze dips straight down to the one thing I’ve always said was a hard limit. “You crossed it out.”
Still unable to look at him, I bite my lip and stare at the open bedroom door. “Yeah. This is, um, me requesting. I–I want to try it. I can’t promise I’ll like it, but I want to try.” A thought occurs to me, and I turn back to look at him, eyes wide. “Not tonight, though. I’m not ready yet, but maybe we could start small over the next few weeks?”
He is already nodding, a gentle smile on his lips. “Of course, princess. Everything will always be at your speed. None of us would ever make you do anything you didn’t want.”
Xavier makes a grumbling noise, but we all ignore him.
“What has been added to the list?” Derek asks, clearly dying to reach around and rip the papers from Darcy’s hand.
If I wasn’t so freaking nervous right now, I might find his distress funny.
Darcy’s gaze scans over the column of words I added to the side of their typed list. “Edging, denial, funishments, chastity, somnophilia, fisting, group cockwarming, live caming.”
