I take another step back. “My leg,” I say. “It was you.” I glance down at the leg. “Your dad was right.”
He nods, his gaze fixed on the ground between us.
“You didn’t tell me.”
“You knew.” His eyes finally meet mine. “You always knew. You just didn’t want to see it.” He takes a breath. “I told you to be scared of me. You didn’t listen.”
I flinch as I look down at all the blood. “You need help,” I say.
“From who?” His voice sharpens, volume rising. “Who’s gonna help me?” He paces once, hands flexing at his sides. “I’ve tried,” he spits. “For ten goddamn years I’ve tried. To bury it, to outrun it, to starve it out, but it always comes back hungrier.”
He throws out his hand—and behind him, a parked car erupts into flame. He turns back to me, eyes red as a firestorm. “There’s nothing anyone can do.” He lights a cigarette and takes a drag as if nothing happened. As if there aren’t bodies on the pavement behind him.
“Are you done playing games,” he asks, exhausted, “or do you want to keep pretending you didn’t fall in love with a monster?”
I should run but I can’t.I never could.So I step forward, and walk closer, slowly, as if I’m approaching a wild animal.One I’ve known my whole life, but never really understood.
“Sisk, don’t?—”
I keep going until I place my hand on his chest right over where his heart is.
He goes completely still.
“I’m not scared of you,” I whisper. “I’m scared for you.”
His eyes snap to mine. He looks at me like I’m speaking a language he’s never heard—one no one’s ever bothered to teach him.
“You need to stop pushing me away,” I say, and my voice cracks with the weight of it. “Because I’m not going anywhere.”
He looks down.
“You’re right,” I continue. “I think I always knew.”
The cigarette burns low between his fingers and I reach up and gently take it from his hand. Cautiously as if I’m defusing a bomb. I bring it to his lips, and he inhales—his eyes locking on mine.
“You’re also right, I do love you.” I kiss him—soft, sure, brief. “And I know you love me too.”
My fingers trail lightly across his jaw, grounding him. “So let’s stop pretending,” I whisper. “Let’s do this once and for all. Together.”
His voice is hoarse when it finally comes. “Do what?”
“Figure this shit out.”
Forty-One
THEN | JAX
The hall is already packed like a zoo with too many people trying too hard. Sisk’s hand slips from mine as we near the entrance. She’s trying to sneak away.Not a chance.I grab it back, my grip tight enough to make a point.
“Last chance to bail on him,” I tell her.
“Jax, I already told him I’d go. As friends.” She pulls her hand away again. “I can’t just ditch him.”
I grab her hand again and grip it firmer.
“Don’t do this,” she says, finally looking at me.
“Do what? Remind you who you spent last night with?”
