Page 104 of Tar City


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“Read it to me,” she says, handing it back.

“What?”

“I want you to read it.”

I take it back, my throat suddenly tight.

“Let it be the first and not the last

The time I say happy birthday to you.”

I pause and look at her.

“Let it be the first and not the last

The time I see you without guard.

Show me who you are,

Unafraid and free,

And I will show you that the world

Was made for you and me.”

Her lips part slightly, a soft exhale escaping. The defiance in her eyes is melting. It’s everything I wanted and it terrifies me.

I have to finish it. My voice dips to a near whisper.

“Let it be the first and not the last

The time I say happy birthday to you.

Let it be the first and not the last

The time my lips touch yours,

And I will show you that the world

Was made for you and me.”

I’ve just laid my soul bare, given her the one thing I have to offer that isn’t tainted by this city, or my name or the darkness inside me. Now all I can do is wait to see if she takes it, or if she runs.

Shit, it was too much. Too soft, too… I should have gotten her a gift.

“Can I have it back?” Her voice is soft now.

She reaches for the paper, but before I can give it back, I grab her wrist and pull her close.

“Jax…” she breathes, but it’s not a protest. It’s a surrender.

I close the remaining distance.

“How did I do?”

“I…”

“You can say it sucks, it’s not good, I know…”