I like him.
Then there’s Zev. When Zev brought up the dead, after he had his vision, my heart hit my feet and then jumped up to my throat, beating double time. I felt for sure that he knew, that he had seen me in the vision, or hell, one of the others had seen me and he saw it in his vision, and then they carried on talking, and things that should have clicked into place for me didn’t.
Farren made a connection that I never did when I was alive, and it just made me even more curious about her.
Not that it’s hard to make me more curious about her. There’s just something about her.
I must have gone to Tèarmann. I had to have gone there, and they were sort of right. It is locked down like Peanasachadh, but in a different way. We can still see Peanasachadh, you can visit it, touch the walls, and you can even hear some of the inmates still. The guards take their jobs seriously, and those souls who didn’t manage to escape are still facing their punishments.
The difference is that now, for reasons unknown, anyone standing close enough to the wall can occasionally hear what’s happening behind the walls. It’s never conversations, only screams of pain and terror.
The thing that I always found curious though is that it’s soundproofed within too. So the guards who not only work there but live there too, don’t have to listen to the sounds all the time.
That would be enough to drive anyone insane.
It’s a really disturbing place to go, and other than the yearly checks to see if anything has changed, no one goes there. I do find it strange that the Others said that it was patrolled by the Abyss creatures, but we never ran into the Abyss creatures when we patrolled.
I wasn’t there.
I know for a fact that I wasn’t there. There was no torture, no screaming, nothing like that at all. The souls that had been there for a long time immediately offered me some support and advice.
Unfortunately for me, as soon as I managed to walk through the light and ended up back here, I forgot everything that they told me they said. I know that they told me something important, and I know that the knowledge strengthened my need to get the fuck out and back to warn Rast.
I don’t know what I had to warn him about though, apart from what I already needed to warn him about.
The fact that I lost my memory also means that I don’t know where it is. They’re stuck there, I know that, but I don’t know where they are.
What Zev’s question led them to realising is quite honestly insane, but I’m a ghost, and they shouldn’t exist. The souls that got day passes to come into the rest of the realm weren’t ghosts. They were souls, and they were staying in the realm of the dead.
I’m in the realm of the dead, but I wasn’t, at least, I don’t think I was and passing through the light to get back here has meant that I’m a ghost.
How do I know I’m a ghost?
Good question, self, because who the fuck else would ask me? That’s right, no one, because no one can see or fucking hear me.
Huh.
Maybe I have lost it.
It’s entirely possible, and it wouldn’t surprise me.
My point, if I was even trying to make one, is that I don’t know how I know that I’m a ghost. I just do.
Just like I know that the bad souls don’t end up in Tèarmann.
I don’t mean the ones who die in all the other realms. Our realm has been closed down since it descended into darkness. No, I mean the bad souls that are killed in Siorraidh.
They aren’t in with the good where I was, and I have no idea where they are.
At least I don’t think I do. For all I know, that could have been one of the things that I forgot as I crossed over.
I have to say this is not the turn of events that I expected when those lying fucks sent Rast off through that portal.
Rast didn’t tell the others everything, but some of that was because he didn’t know everything.
He wasn’t supposed to survive it. That was the whole point. They were sending him through it to get rid of him because he was starting to ask too many questions and getting too close to the right answers. I don’t know why they went to such lengths to get rid of him, they could have just kept him in the cells and carried on the torture. He wasn’t causing them any trouble in there.
People were starting to listen to him though, and that scared the fuckers.
