"I don't even like drinking, and that asshole made me drink to try to forget!" I moan while Maddie finishes paying the tab and helps me outside, an arm around my waist. "Forget him and everything that jerk said to me, and it still didn't work."
"He's a son of a bitch and you're not going to listen to a single thing he said," the blonde fires off, and I blow air hard out through my nose.
"It's hard, all the shit's on loop in my head. Every time I trusted him. Every time I... Oh my God, how long is the list of girls he cheated on me with? There's no way she was the only one in that photo he slept with," I whimper and trip on the sidewalk, catching myself on some guy standing outside the bar. I can't even register his face, but I think I thank him and let Maddie steer me again.
"It's not worth thinking about right now, Lottie. Your focus has to be on putting all of this behind you," she tries, but I mutter a "never" back and hear her sigh. "It'll pass," she promises, and I shake my head no, which sets the world spinning again.
"It won't. I'm never falling in love again!" I shout, probably way too loud. "I hate men. I hate people! I'm going to live in my cocoon forever. Just me, like six cats, my new friend tequila, and chocolate. I don't want to see anyone ever again!" I declare, and my cousin looks at me with obvious pity while she puts me in the car and buckles my seatbelt, like I'm a little kid.
"It'll pass, Lottie, I promise. And you've still got so much life ahead of you, you'll fall in love with one guy, two..."
"God forbid! My heart is made of iron now. Not even one new love gets in, let alone two," I cut her off, and the blonde sighs.
"We'll see about that, twin. Now close your eyes and try not to puke in my car."
I let out a little groan and let my cousin drag me home, where I can cry and make more plans to castrate a certain football player.
Chapter 2
Charlotte
Being fertile is humiliating. That alone sums up my situation.
On top of really needing to get over my ex by making new memories, I genuinely needed sex to relieve stress and settle my uterus down. But even though I'm inside a university with thousands of young people bursting with hormones and more than willing to sleep with anything that moves, for me it isn't so simple.
I was never the most extroverted person. I'm not exactly shy, I just really like my comfort zones. In school they called me a nerd, because I never struggled with any subject, especially math and language, plus I was always living with my face buried in some book. But I got along just fine that way, thank you very much. I had a few friends besides my cousin and had fun going out with them. I'd even risk the occasional party, because I loved to dance.
That's how I caught Johnny's attention. We were in the same year and he was one of the best-looking guys in school, so, yes, I always had a bit of a thing for the guy with the huge shoulders, the nice smile, and the football player status. But he only noticed me sophomore year of high school, when I got my braces off and my boobs finally decided to show up. He asked me to dance at a little party in some classmate's basement, and after that... we never let go of each other again.
And only now am I starting to realize I ended up making him the center of my world back then. Things started to change when I got to college and saw the classes weren't so easy anymore and I had to apply myself, especially if I wanted to stand out and land a job as soon as I graduated. That's when his complaints started, about me not giving him enough attention, about not going with him to every damn game and party with the football crowd. I'd go to one here and there just to please him, but I always came back early so I could get a good night's sleep, only to be forced to put up with him sulking about it the next day.
How was it possible he didn't understand my side?
Still, after a few months he actually stopped insisting I come. He'd swing by my dorm before heading to the game, give me a kiss, and sweetly tell me I really should just stay in and study or rest. Obviously that was because by that point he was already cheating on me.
Fucking asshole!
I grunt to myself in the dorm hallway and a girl gives me a "what's your problem, psycho?" look, but I ignore her completely and head out of the student building, since I have to be atthe Statistics support room in twenty minutes and it's on the opposite side of Lexington Crown.
Johnny was actually the reason I chose Lexington Crown University over Harvard, which also sent me an acceptance letter. Harvard used to be my dream, but I didn't even blink when he said it would be so much better if we went to the same college so we'd never have to be apart. It seemed so sweet...
God, I was so stupid!
I'll admit I still don't quite understand how the guy I once fell in love with became the one who cheated on me and then, when I confronted him, said every kind of horrible thing to me.
"What did you expect, Charlie? All you care about is studying, reading, and at most going out for pizza. I'm a fucking football player! I've got to go to parties, meet people, and have fun in my free time!" he accuses, throwing his arms open, and my mouth forms an O of outrage.
"I went to plenty of parties to be there with you! I just didn't stay up all night like you guys! And then you were the one who said it was fine if I didn't come!" I shout, and he shrugs.
"At first, yeah. After that it was just a great way to keep having my fun," he says with the most shameless face I've ever seen. I lose it completely and go at him, smacking the tall blond guy on the shoulder.
"You bastard! I hate you! You're a huge son of a bitch!" I scream while I hit him and cry, all at the same time.
"Stop it, you psycho!" he says, trying to fend off my slaps. When he manages to catch my arms in his fingers, he huffs and gives me a mocking smile. "And you want to know something else? I went after other girls because on top of everything you're terrible in bed too!"
That made me stop, and I pull out of his grip, taking steps back, and shake my head no.
I didn't recognize the man in front of me. It was like a fucking nightmare.
