“I panicked,” she said with a sigh. “I own him an apology.”
“He’ll understand.”
One of the phones buzzed on the table between us and my heart skipped a beat. Mine was still black, but Olivia’s lit up with a text message. She picked it up and fired off a quick response.
“It was my mom. She and Carl are home. They’re going to have him follow up with some outpatient tests in Cardiology next week.”
“Good,” I said.
“I’ve thought about Kayden for years,” Olivia said softly.
I slowly closed my eyes and prayed that when I opened them she wouldn’t see my worry. They both thought about each other, they shared a daughter, I was falling for him just as hard as I’d fallen for Liv, and the only thing I could think about was losing all of them. I may have had a lot of therapy and two fantastic moms for the last decade and a half, but I’d also spent the first fifteen years of my life neglected and alone. It was impossible not to worry about feeling that way again sometimes.
“I’ve often suspected that he wasn’t as meaningless of a hookup as you implied,” I said carefully, calmly.
“Really?” she asked, wrinkling her brow. “I try not to talk about him at all.”
“Exactly,” I said. “And when you do, you get a contemplative look on your face.”
A look that always caused my heart to clench even when I thought he would never be inthe picture.
A phone buzzed again, and I grabbed mine off the table as soon as I saw the screen light up, dropping it with a sigh when I realized it was just an email notification.
“You’re really worried about him,” Olivia said, almost as carefully as I’d spoken a moment ago.
I bit the inside of my cheek, tired of constantly hiding my feelings from this woman. I was hiding how I felt about her and now how I felt about Kayden. It was exhausting. She was the person I most wanted to confide in. I owed it to both of us to start being more open with her about my feelings.
“Jace,” she said softly. “You can lean on me too, you know. Sometimes I think you feel like you have to keep it together for me and Kaylee, now for Kayden too. You’re allowed to have feelings and to need us sometimes.”
I stared at her, surprised. I’d never considered it before but when she put it like that, I also couldn’t deny that she was on to something. “I want you all to be okay,” I said quietly.
“We will be.” She squeezed my hand on the table. “You have to trust that we want you to be okay too.”
“I don’t know what it is about Kayden,” I said. “I really care about him. In the same way it only took me a few weeks to know I’d do anything for you, that’s how I feel about him. Feeling that way about both of you confuses me. And right now, I’m worried about how he’s handling earth-shattering news like this because I know he struggles with anxiety.”
“You don’t open your heart to many people, Jace. But when you do, it’s all the way open and it is amazing to be on the other side of that. You are loyal and protective and if you feel that way about him, then I’m certain he knows it and I’m sure he’ll call you if he needs you.” Oliviasmiled sadly at me. “It’s one of the things I love most about you. I’m sorry I didn’t realize I was putting you in the middle of us with this.”
“Thanks,” I said.
“Mommy, Jace, watch!” Kaylee called from the top of the play structure. She stood in front of a purple slide with a big smile on her face.
Olivia and I both waved to her before she swung herself down the tube and popped out at the bottom a few seconds later. She smiled proudly and then took off running for the stairs to do it again.
I startled as my phone buzzed.
It was Kayden finally responding to my text from an hour ago asking how he was doing.
Kayden:Just staring at a bottle of Jack and contemplating my life choices. I’ll call you tomorrow.
I frowned at my phone and Olivia reached across the table and covered my hand with hers. The comforting gesture sent a ripple of warmth through me.
“Is he okay?” she asked.
“I don’t know.” I set down the phone. “I wouldn’t say drowning his sorrows is ideal, but I can’t say I blame him after a shock like that. He said he’d call tomorrow.”
“He’s drinking?” she asked, her voice rising in panic and her eyes wide.
“Apparently,” I said, taking a swig of my beer.
