Jace:Yes! I’m home.
Jace swung the doorof his condo open as soon as I knocked. He took one look at me and opened his arms, inviting me in for a hug, and I clung to his chest like it was the safest place in the world. It would never cease to amaze me how easily he offered exactly what I needed. He silently held me in his arms until I found the courage to let go and face him.
“I’m really scared,” I said, as tears spilled down my cheeks.
“I know,” he said soothingly as he rubbed my back. “Let’s sit down.”
He guided me to the couch and used a remote to shut the shades in his massive windows before sitting next to me, our legs pressed against each other.
“Tell me what you’re scared of,” he said, taking my hand in his.
I used my other hand to swipe at my tears. “I don’t want Kaylee to get hurt and I’m not ready to share her. Does that make me selfish?”
“Liv, you’ve been a single mom for three and a half years. It’s okay for you to be worried about that changing.”
“Jace, Kayden wasn’t nothing to me. I know it was only one night, but he was amazing. Honest. A little unsure of himself, but so sweet. I would have seen him again if he hadn’t been leaving the next day. I would have told him if I’d been in contact with him.”
Jace’s throat bobbed as he swallowed, and he took a deep breath. “That matches what I know about him as well. I don’t think he’d ever ask for anything you aren’t comfortable with in regard to Kaylee. Him knowing about her doesn’t have to mean sharing custody next week.”
“The thought of that makes me want to barf,” I said. “Even if I tell him, I don’t know what I want to do about them meeting yet. That feels huge.”
“I get it,” he said, squeezing my hand harder, and gazing at me like helping me through this was the most important thing in the world. “Let’s focus on one step at a time, Liv.”
Just like Mom said. Get through this, admit that I’m in love with you, and pray to God I’m not misreading the way you look into my eyes in moments like this.
“Are we going to talk about your dad?” Jace asked gently.
“What about him?”
“I think maybe you’re worried Kayden will come in and out of Kaylee’s life like your dad did to you and that’s part of why you’re scaredto tell him. You want to spare Kaylee the same pain he caused you when you were young.”
I nodded, feeling my heart expand at the way Jace saw me. He understood me better than anyone and he didn’t even know how much that had meant to me all this time.
“I think you should be honest with him about your concerns.”
I blinked, confused for a moment. “Who? Kayden?”
“Yes,” Jace said. “I think if you tell him that’s what you’re worried about, then his reaction will ease your fear. I don’t think he’s going to abandon her once he knows about her. I don’t think Kayden isanythinglike your dad, Liv.”
I looked at him curiously. Jace seemed to know a lot about Kayden. He certainly cared a lot about this situation. I knew he’d be this supportive of me, but I couldn’t help but notice the way he also seemed to assess how each choice I made impacted Kayden as well as me and Kaylee.
He must have seen the confusion on my face because it was like he was responding to my thoughts. “Liv, I’m pushing this because I care about all three of you. I know you know telling him is the right thing to do. I know your heart. Keeping them from each other is not who you are.”
“What if he doesn’t want anything to do with us?”
“I don’t think that’s going to be the case. But if that’s how he responds, I’ll be right there for you and Kaylee, I promise. Always.”
He pulled me into another hug, and with my face buried in the crook of his neck, I let the question constricting my lungs free. “Why are his feelings so important to you?”
Jace pulled me closer and took a deep breath but didn’t say anything.
“You’re not going to tell me, are you?” I asked.
His voice was barely above a whisper when he responded, “I can’t, Liv.”
A few more tears fell from my eyes. I was so tired of keeping everything I felt for him bottled up inside. “Do you think we’ll ever have an honest conversation about this thing between us?” I asked.
Jace kissed my temple and squeezed me even tighter, like he was conveying his feelings through his touch. “One way or another, we’re going to have to, Liv. But this is more important than us right now because you and I are going to be okay no matter what. We have to be.”
