“No date,” I said. “I’m just going to Fusion.”
She nodded with a small smile. “Well, have fun.”
“One of these nights, you’re going to have to come with me,” I said, shooting her a carefree grin—as if the mere suggestion of going out with her didn’t send my pulse raising.
I usually went out a few nights a week. The alternative was coming home to my empty apartment where the isolated feeling of being fifteen and alone in the world curled around me in the dark. I was more than thirty and still alone every night. For years, I’d wanted it that way, but since working through my abandonment fears in therapy, I was ready for something real. Yet I still went to Fusion—my favorite queer bar in Boston—and hooked up with people I never intended to see again because the person I wanted something real with was standing right in front of me and I clearly hadn’t gotten over my fear of abandonment quite enough to tell her how often I thought about her.
Olivia sighed. “Honestly, I might take you up on that pretty soon.”
Yes, please. Did I mention it could be a date?
“I talked to Jackson and Adrian today about switching to a day shift,” she continued. “They still don’t have anything available, and withKaylee starting preschool in a couple weeks, I really don’t think I can work these hours anymore. I’ll never see her if she’s at school during the day and I’m here in the evenings.”
I stepped closer to her, out of the way of a waitress walking to the kitchen.
“I’m sorry, Liv,” I said, running a hand through my hair. “I know you were hoping it would work out.”
“They tried,” she said, adjusting Kaylee on her hip. Kaylee played with Olivia’s long brown locks. “There isn’t any option that won’t mess up someone else’s schedule, and I don’t want to do that. Adrian even told me he’d offer me a manager position if he had one open, which would be perfect because I’d love that, but everyone loves working for him, so that’s never going to happen.”
I put my hand on her upper arm. “Are you really going to leave Harrison’s then? I can’t imagine this place without you.”
Her throat bobbed as she swallowed. “I don’t want to. But you’re moving out and it was never going to be the same for me without you here. It just seems like the right time. Maybe I’ll finally use my business degree.”
If you stop working here and I move out, what the hell is going to happen to us? Isn’t this how friends drift apart? When their lives no longer overlap as conveniently as ours do right now?
Olivia absentmindedly stroked Kaylee’s hair while I came up with the world’s best, or worst, idea. “What kind of job are you looking for?” I asked.
She pursed her lips. “Since my goal is simply to get a daytime job as fast as possible I’m not expecting to find my dream job right away. Something that could lead to a better opportunity eventually would be nice, but I’ve never really known how I wanted to use my degree. It’s whystaying in bartending was so easy for me. Plus, I really do love it here. I genuinely like waitressing.”
So much of my friendship with Olivia happened right here in this building, it was hard to imagine her not being here. I’d often sit at the bar and eat dinner while she worked before going upstairs alone or heading out for the night. Once a week or so I’d go home with her after her shift and we’d share pizza and wine, watching a movie while Kaylee slept in the next room. I knew my moving out would reduce our frequency of connection, but I’d also known I could come here for dinner whenever I wanted to see her and just go back to my condo across town when I was done. That wouldn’t be an option anymore if she left.
The fear of seeing her less made my stomach twist into knots.
“My assistant quit,” I said, staring at her and waiting for a reaction. It wasn’t a lie. I seemed to have a revolving door of assistants at Acker Real Estate. I’d been the Vice President of Sustainable Housing and Equitability for four years and in that time I’d had five assistants. I’d yet to figure out what the problem was, but I was fairly sure it wasn’t me—or at least notallme.
Is this a ludicrous idea? Yes. But please let it work.
Olivia tilted her head to the side, a curious expression on her face as she shifted Kaylee onto her other hip. “I’m sorry, Jace. I imagine that’s going to make your life difficult for a while.”
I shook my head, feeling overwhelmed with the ease of this solution. “Work for me.”
“What?” she asked with a laugh. “I can’t work for you.”
Kaylee started poking at her mom’s cheeks and neck, getting impatient to leave.
“Yes, you can,” I said, looking between the two people I needed most in my life. They made me feel like I wasn’t alone. Yes, I had a greatfamily with my moms, my aunt and uncle, and my cousin and his wife. But at the end of the day, they each had someone to go home to, and I came here—to Liv.
“Look, it can be temporary,” I said, hoping to ease her into the idea. “Just while you look for what you really want. You’ll be able to have a job during school hours right away and I’ll have an assistant who I actually like.”
“Mommy, I want to go home,” Kaylee whined.
Olivia scoffed. “You hate all your assistants, Jace. I’ll lose my closest friend the first time I screw up your schedule. Or when I realize you’re actually a complete bull to work for and that’s why you need a new assistant every six months.”
I laughed nervously and ran a hand through my thick curls, feeling Kaylee’s impatience and my own desperation working against me. “I’m not that bad to work for and I could never hate you.”
Olivia searched my face like she was considering the offer.
Kaylee started bouncing up and down in her arms. “Mommy,” she whined again.
