“My mom has them when she flies. My other mom has them when Mom or I get sick,” he said softly, his hand pressing more firmly as he continued to bring me out of my head and back into the room with him. “I don’t get them myself but I’m not a very judgmental person. We can talk about it, or not. Whatever you prefer.”
“I struggle with anxiety,” I said, eyes widening at my words. When given the option, I always chose not to talk about things. Period. But the way he was looking at me with such intensity and concern made me feel safer to speak than I could ever remember feeling. “Struggle is a strong word. Ihaveanxiety. I take medication and do regular cognitive behavioral therapy. It’s under control most of the time, but anyone who tells you it’s under control all the time has obviously never really experienced it before.”
Jace removed his hand from my back and turned my chair gently until I was facing him. He took both of my hands in his. “What just triggered you?”
“I hate the proposal presentation part of my job the most. Meeting a dozen new people and having to impress them is nerve-wracking. I’m usually fine because I prepare like hell and I’m a really good architect,” I said with a chuckle as my breathing evened out.
Jace smirked. “You certainly seem to be from what I’ve seen.”
His green eyes centered me again. “It’s you. I was not even remotely prepared to see the only guy in all of Boston who I’ve hooked up with sitting in this office. It’s adding another level of pressure because I want to look good in front of you. I also dealt with some shit before this meeting that already put me on edge, so I’m sure that didn’t help either.”
“I’m so sorry, Kayden.” He squeezed my hands, and I focused on the sensation, continuing to ground myself in the physical. “By the time I found out you and I were working together, there was no way for me to warn you about what you were walking into. I wish I’d known sooner so it hadn’t been a surprise for you.”
“It’s fine, but the thought of having to impress you professionally makes me want to throw up,” I confessed.
His eyes roamed over me, and he shook his head slightly.I wish I knew what he was looking for.
“I hired you because I liked your portfolio and the hand-drawn sketch you included with your proposal was better than any of the digital renderings I received—including your own. You’re also a start-up, which we prefer, and you had great insights into the features that would be beneficial in a rehab facility. I’m already impressed with you professionally,” he said calmly. “Reallyimpressed, Kayden. I’m also pretty damn impressed with you personally, and I have a sneaking suspicion that youalwayslook good. But we can save that for after the meeting.”
I smiled. “You’re not going to give me preferential treatment because of the other night?”
“Nope. I had no idea who you were, and I’d already hired you. Did you know who I was?”
“Of course not,” I said quickly. “I’d never do that to you. I also probably wouldn’t have ventured into ass play for the first time if I’d known you were my new boss.”
“Client. You’re an independent contractor.”
“Close enough.”
Jace shook his head. “Feels like an important distinction since I’m not ready to let go of the idea of seeing you again.”
“Fine.” I wasn’t ready to let go of it either, not by a long shot.
“Do you still want this job?” Jace asked. “I can cancel the board meeting if you’ve decided this is too weird for you.”
“I really want this job. You’re my biggest client with potential for other projects if this goes well. A rehab facility is a very personal project for me. I want to design this with you,” I said, taking another deep breath. “But I want my work to stand on its own. I don’t want youto pretend to like my work because of what happened, or what might happen again.”
Jace smirked. “Okay.”
“That’s it? Just,okay?”
“Yes. Any other conditions?”
“You’ll be honest about critical feedback?”
“This project is very important to me as well. And this division. I will not compromise it to spare your ego. I have no doubt you’re good at your job, but so am I. I have a clear vision for this facility. I want to bring it to life with you.”
“Thank you,” I said.
“Anything else?” He dropped my hands and leaned back in his chair.
“You’re so agreeable,” I mused, thinking back to how quickly he adjusted to my every desire or concern the other night.
He laughed. “Are you complaining about that?”
“I just don’t get it.”
“Just because someone has different needs than me, doesn’t mean I can’t put myself in their shoes and respect their wishes.” He leaned forward again, and the scent of his cologne filled my nostrils. I inhaled deeply, the smell continuing to calm me. “I’d very much like to have a professional and a personal relationship with you. But I will follow your lead because I won’t pressure you into either of those situations if it’s not what you want.”
