“To drive you away before I could ask you to stay.”
She tilted her head, her arms crossed. “Why would that have been so bad?”
“Because you might have stayed. You might have given up your dreams of living in Miami and being your own boss. And I know very well that you can know you made the right choice, but still feel the loss of what you gave up.”
“But you didn’t let me make a choice at all. You chose to hurt me instead.”
“I’m so sorry for that. I was sorry as soon as I said it, and I should have chased you down the road, screaming it.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because I still thought that, even though I did it the wrong way, I did the right thing.”
She shook her head. “So why are you here now?”
“Because I couldn’t live with myself if you… I don’t know. You believing I thought so little of you ate at me, and I didn’t want you going off to Miami hurt like that.”
“I’m not leaving.”
For a moment, he wasn’t sure he’d heard her correctly. “What do you mean? You’re not leaving today? Or soon?”
“I mean I’m not going to Miami. I’m staying in Wayward Harbor.”
The relief that went through Nick was so potent, he sagged against the porch post. Thankfully, it was one of the repairs he’d done, so it was strong enough to hold his weight.
“But I’m not staying for you,” she said. “I’m staying for me. I’m staying because I have friends and family here, and because it’s my home.”
His vision blurred slightly, and he blinked furiously. “I’m happy for you. I screwed it up in a big way, but I swear that’s what I wanted for you. For you to be free to do what makes you happy.”
Nick nodded once and then dropped down a step. He should go, before he made it worse. He didn’t deserve her forgiveness, and he wouldn’t beg her for it now. If she could give it someday, he would be grateful, but he wouldn’t push her now.
“Why didn’t you ask me to stay?” she said before he could take another step.
“Because I love you, Lucy, and it scares me. The feelings I have for you scare me.” He inhaled and then shook his head. “No, it’s more. My feelings for you actuallyterrifyme.”
“Am I that bad a bet?” She laughed, but it wasn’t the happy Lucy laugh he adored. “Loving me isterrifying?”
“What scares me is knowing I would let everybody in my life down if that’s what it took to keep you,” he said quietly. “I would let down my brothers. I would walk away from my family’s business. I’d let down our customers and the team and every single other person who relies on me if that’s what it took to make you happy.”
“I would never ask you to turn your back on everybody in your life.”
“I know.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “It’s not that you would ask it, I guess. It’s more just recognizing that Iwould. It’s terrifying, honestly. Asking you to stay would have been asking you to give upyourdreams, and I knew I would walk away from my family if you asked me to go with you.”
“So you took the choice away from both of us.”
“I did and, again, I’ll always be sorry.”
“You wouldhateMiami,” she said, and she looked as if shemightsmile.
“I absolutely would hate Miami. But I love you more than I would absolutely hate living in Miami. And, as you’ve said, my brothers are grown men. They can take care of themselves.”
“Do you remember when Gran told me to build a house, and you told me not to forget that you can leave a house if it no longer serves you?”
“I do.”
“Dreams can change, Nick.” She walked to the edge of the stairs, and because he was down a step, they were almost eye level, but now she had the edge. “When I came to return your hoodie and asked if you were going to miss me, that was kind of my way of flirting my way into telling you how I felt.”
Nick closed his eyes. The regret so strong, it was like acid in the back of his throat. But he opened them again because every second they were closed was a second he couldn’t see her pretty blue eyes.
