I handed it back to him and watched him continue smoking.
“So what are your expectations?” he finally asked me.
“Um, I don’t know what you mean.”
“What are you hoping to gain from coming here?”
“Forgiveness,” I muttered. “Not just from Rosalie, but from you, too. I-I’ve missed you. It’s just surreal, Fox.”
“Evan,” he said sharply.
“Right. Evan. It’s hard to believe you’re here. You don’t even look like you. Or sound like you.” I winced. “I’m sorry, man. I just… fuck. Can I hug you?”
He stared back at me from behind his glasses like I’d grown a second head.
“Man, come on. Bring it in.” I opened my arms to him. “Please. Hug me. I look like an idiot standing here.”
Evan hesitated before hugging me.
“Fuck, Foxy,” I choked out, holding him tightly. “I’ve fucking missed you, man. I-I thought I was going to have to die to see you again.” Tears flooded my cheeks.
I was surprised when he tightened his hold on me.
“I’ve missed you, too,” he replied, his voice shaking. He had such a hoarse rasp. I hated that. He had the most beautiful singing voice, and I wondered if he still could sing for our girl.
“I don’t want us to hate one another. I’m so fucking sorry for contributing to your pain. I-I never wanted that. I’m so sorry. What can I do?” I asked, clinging to him.
“I-I don’t know,” he answered. “I don’t know.”
I pulled away and stared at him. “I loved you then, and I love you now. Everything is fucked right now, but that love is a constant. I promise you that… brother.”
His jaw shook as he stared at me.
“You giant tatted fucker,” I said through a soft sob.
He chuckled at that. “I’m sorry for lying. For running. For… dying. For all the pain, Cole. I am, but it’s Rosalie, you know?”
“I know. She was always your girl first,” I said. “I get it. I do, man. I’m not questioning it. I’m just fucking jealous and hurt that I missed out on my daughter. On this life. On all of it. I don’t want to miss out anymore. Please. I want my chance.”
He nodded, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “I’m willing to give it to you. The guys still are too. You can’t fucking go nuts, though. No more kidnapping her. Drugging her. None of that shit. I don’t care what sort of doctor prodigy your ass is. No more. I’ll beat the fucking blue out of your eyes if you do that shit again.”
“Cross my heart,” I said immediately. “I won’t do anything like that again.”
“Fine. I’ll believe you, but don’t fuck this up?—”
“I won’t. I swear I won’t,” I said.
He nodded and gestured for me to follow him. I did, and was surprised when he gave me a full tour of the house, right down to the music studio, which had to cost a fucking assload of money.
“This is where the magic happens?” I asked, staring in wonder at the place.
“No, that’s upstairs in our bedroom,” he said.
“Dick.” I chuckled as he grinned at me.
“Yeah, this is where she does a lot of her recording. She spends hours down here. Days, even. That’s why there’s that couch. She’ll sleep on it, and one of us has to come down and carry her to bed.”
I smiled at that. Someday, maybe I’d get to be the one to carry her.
