He nodded, a serious look on his face. “You don’t remember?”
I frowned, trying to remember what I could have said. Finally, I shook my head. I could have begged to be saved for all I knew.
“You said you loved Rosalie.”
My mouth went dry as I stared at him.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Um, no. I-I was probably just fucked up, you know?”
God, fuck, just tell him! Now was my chance, but I was pussying out. What the fuck.
He eyed me the way he often did. It felt like he was peering into my soul with his piercing blue eyes.
Fuck.
I looked down at my hands. “I mean, I do love her. She’s my-my friend. I love you too. And Ellis. Klaus. Evan. Trent. I-I was just hurting and scared, I guess.”
“You sure?” Anson asked gently. “You and LeeLee are close. If you want to talk about it, we can.”
I breathed out. “I’m… fuck.” My voice cracked. I couldn’t do this shit.
“Anson, man, I’m sorry, OK?” I wiped quickly at my eyes, not wanting him to see me break down like a little bitch. “I’ll quit. I don’t want to cause problems for anyone.”
He was quiet for a moment as he stared back at me.
“I don’t hate the idea,” he murmured.
I snapped my head up and looked at him. “What?”
“I don’t hate it,” he said softly. “You and her. With us. I-I actually kind of like it. It makes sense.”
I swallowed. There was no way I heard him correctly.
“You don’t share,” I said.
He chuckled. “Clearly, I do. You should tell her.”
“There’s no fucking way,” I said immediately. “I’ll fucking die if she tells me to piss off. It’ll ruin everything.”
“It won’t. I’m sure she feels for you too,” he said.
“Really?”
He nodded. “I think so. I’ve never asked her, but I know I’ve seen her watching you before. I suppose there’s really only one way to find out.”
“I-I can’t. It could ruin everything if she doesn’t feel that way.” I repeated. “I don’t want to risk friendships. Promise you won’t tell her?”
He sighed. “Yeah, but I still think you should. Maybe start hinting at it.”
“No,” I said immediately.
“Ryder, man. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that life is short. Don’t be a pussy. Tell her.”
“I’m not a pussy,” I grumbled, knowing damn well I was when it came to her. Klaus and Evan already knew. Anson took it far better than I expected.
I just had to get past myself now.
