“That’s it. Hold it!”
Theo’s voice cut through my trance. I pried open my eyes, the lights around us reminding me where we were and what was at stake.
Suddenly, the clicking of the camera stopped.
“There she is. Briony, we’ve been waiting! Let’s take a five-minute break.”
Movement exploded around us, but the small bubble around Kaz, Mason, and I stayed still. Our chests rose and fell.
And an unspoken question waited to be answered.
22
MASON
I heard a saying onceabout nothing making us as lonely as our secrets.Its meaning hadn’t sunk in until I’d finally told Molly my big secret last night. The shameful truth had kept me away from her in college because I’d convinced myself she’d never accept me if she knew.
Well, in a life full of fuck ups, that topped the list. It was out in the open now, and it turned out, she didn’t give a damn.
I’d allowed my fear to win, and now I had to live knowing I’d lost her because of it. If I were a decent person, I’d let her go and deal with my shit however I needed to. That’s what I said I’d do after I kissed her last night. Kaz was my best friend, and unlike me, he knew how to go after what he wanted. He’d earned the reward. I wouldn’t do anything to take Molly from him.
But after that photoshoot, my resolve was cracking and crumbling at my feet.
I guess I wasn’t all that decent, because I couldn’t erase the memory of her in my lap, no matter how hard I tried. If I had to guess, I’d be cursed with reliving that image for the rest of my life.
We were on our way home from the shoot, Molly sitting in the driver’s seat. She was considerably more clothed than she’d been just a few hours ago, but my hands still itched to slide under her T-shirt and press against her soft skin. Instead, I stuffed them into the pockets of my jeans.
As if that would help.
Blowing out a breath, I bit the inside of my cheek.
I wanted her more than I’d ever wanted anything.
And she was with my best friend.
“I need to pick up some things from the store,” Molly said as we pulled up to the house.
“We’ll go with you,” Kaz said.
She shook her head. “It’s been a long day. I’ll be quick.”
Kaz and I climbed out of the car and trudged inside. I was exhausted. My stomach was a churning cocktail of regret, pain, and bitter craving.
Suddenly, I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep it down.
I pressed my back against wall and looked over at Kaz. I needed to tell him. I had no idea how he was going to take it, and that scared the hell out of me, but if I didn’t get this off my chest, it would only fester more. Fear had led me astray too many times before. Today, I was choosing courage.
“It hurts to see you with her.”
He halted in place, already halfway down the hall. His back was to me, so I couldn’t see his expression, but his shoulders rose an inch.
“I can’t keep lying to you anymore,” I said, running my palms over my forehead. “I never hated Molly. Fuck, how could I? Did you know I was seventeen the first time I met her? I’d been playing in a band with her sister for two years by then, but somehow our paths hadn’t crossed. The first time I saw Molly was at her parents’ funeral. She stood beside Adeline in a black dress, a skinny little thing with a mop of blond hair hanging over her shoulders. I couldn’t stop looking at her. She looked so sad and defeated beside her older sister. But at one point, our eyes met, and I realized I was wrong. She was devastated but not defeated by the shitty hand she’d been dealt. There was a fire inside of her. A flicker of determination that refused to disappear even during what must have been her darkest moment. It stunned me. For days, all I thought about were those bright-green eyes.”
Kaz was frozen as he listened to me. My gaze brushed over his back, but there was no hint to what he was thinking.
I kept going. “Every time I met her after, I noticed something else I liked about her, but she was too young for me. At least that’s what Ade said when she noticed my interest in her. I respected that, but it didn’t stop me from flirting with Molly whenever we were in the same room. I thought I’d finally ask her out when we got to Northeastern, but I got my diagnosis right before I worked up the guts to do it. And then it was too late. I knew I’d never be good enough for her. When she noticed me pulling away, things soured between us.”
A part of me wished I could go back in time and ask her out the day we got to campus. But if I’d been with her all along, would I have dropped out and moved to LA with Kaz? This was my life now, and I couldn’t imagine not being a musician. What if Molly and I were never meant to be?
