It was easy to pack away all my hesitations about getting involved with her after that first night. Whenever I was around her, I was elated. My alcohol cravings were a distant memory. Now, all I craved was her.
Ivy came over to my place after her last class. She dropped her backpack on the floor in the hallway and came to hug me from behind, letting out a loud sigh.
“What’s wrong, angel?” I asked, unable to keep a grin off my face as she rubbed her cheek against my back. The endearment first came to me a few days ago, and when I said it to Ivy she laughed, embarrassed. “Does that make you my demon?”she’d teased. I thought that fit pretty well.
“I’m so tired. I stayed up all last night studying for the test, and it still kicked my butt.”
I turned around to face her. “You can study here if you need to. I don’t want you to fall behind on your classes because I’ve been making you spend all of your time with me.”
She smiled, and there was a little dimple on her right cheek. “You’re not making me do anything, J. I want to be here, with you.”
The hairs on the back of my neck stood at the use of my old nickname. Only family called me that—ma, and Fox before he’d started hating me. Of course, Ivy didn’t know that, but hearing that simple letter roll off her tongue made me feel all kinds of warm.
“Oh, Sophie found out today that she got the internship,” Ivy said excitedly.
“That’s great. When is she moving to LA?”
“Next semester. It’s going to be a ton of fun having her here. I think you’ll enjoy getting to know her better.”
I was more than a little pleased that Ivy was imagining us together months from now.
“How was your day?” she asked, smoothing the front of my T-shirt with her hands.
“Pretty laid-back. I worked out in the morning—”
“Of course,” she said with an eye roll. The few times she had stayed over, she’d murmured a string of complaints when I rolled out of bed at six-thirty am.
“Then I had a meeting,” I continued, purposefully keeping that part vague. I couldn’t tell her that the meeting was with my lawyer in preparation for the rapidly approaching court date. Neither of us had brought up our agreement not to talk about Oliver, and I couldn’t bring myself to broach the subject. The feelings between us were intense. They felt real, but they were also so very new. I was too much of a coward to risk putting any strain on them. Still, I worried. What if he still had a lingering hold on her? There had to be a reason why she’d completely ignored the topic. I promised myself that after the lawsuit was wrapped up, I’d talk to her about everything.
“And when I got home, I spent some time messing around with the guitar,” I concluded.
“How did it go?”
“Pretty good, actually. I wrote a song.” Despite my nonchalance, I think she sensed the excitement I was trying to hide. I’d been trying to write for weeks, but this was the first song I’d been able to finish.
Her eyes widened. “Play it for me?”
I ran my fingers through my hair. “I will, but it’s very raw. I don’t want you to have high expectations.”
“I’m expecting no more than an advertising jingle,” she deadpanned, even as a smile threatened to erupt across her face.
We settled on the sofa in the living room and I grabbed my acoustic guitar. “This is meant to be played on an electric, so imagine that in your head, okay?”
She nodded. Her hands were crossed in her lap, and she wore this very serious expression that made me wonder what was going through her head.
I began to play.
It wasn’t an entirely new song. I’d found the basic chord progression in one of the many voice notes I’d recorded on my phone over the past seven or so years. Some of those voice notes become the basis for Ritual Disruption’s most famous songs, but many more sat unused, deemed to not fit the sound for the band. Now, I had a chance to pick the ones I liked and run with my ideas.
When I started to sing, Ivy’s expression grew haunted. I kept my gaze on her as I sang, letting the words spill out of me without holding anything back. I didn’t know if I’d ever go back to making music professionally, but sitting here and singing to her was more than enough for me for now.
The song ended, and Ivy looked moved. “Wow,” she said quietly.
I felt pride swell inside of me. “What do you think?”
She swallowed, shifting her gaze from me to the ground and back to me again. “That was amazing. Look.” She extended her arm toward me. “Goosebumps.”
I gripped her wrist and rubbed circles over it with my thumb. “You’re not just saying it?”
