“Not sure,” I said when she returned, leggings in hand. “I don’t know if he wants to do that. For now, he says he’s just writing all of the songs for me.”
Zoey stopped folding. “Seriously? Jesus, that’s so romantic. I’d be making gagging noises if I didn’t live for that kind of shit.”
Laughing, I waved her off, but my thoughts jumped to Jamie playing me one of his songs in the morning, both of us naked in bed. When he did things like that, I lost my ability to breathe, let alone speak. On those days, we wouldn’t get out of bed to have breakfast until at least one pm.
It had been Jamie’s idea to spend the holidays together, and I’d jumped at the chance. Turned out Nial, his wife, Fox, Reina, and Jamie’s mom were all also going to be able to make it. Jamie suggested I invite my family, and that’s how we got to nine people for dinner. He insisted on cooking and put me in charge of decorations. I was pretty sure it was because he didn’t trust me not to burn anything.
Zoey looked around and slapped her palms against her thighs. “Well, looks like that’s everything. Maybe I’ll see your parents at the airport.”
“If you do, my mom will talk your ear off, and you’ll probably miss your plane.”
She pulled on a jean jacket and puckered her lips. “That’s actually not a bad idea…”
“Oh, come on. It won’t be that bad,” I said, coming up to give her a goodbye hug. “Now that Mimi got you that fake ID, the world is your oyster. I hear the Crooked Stool is a popular spot these days with college guys.”
“Yeah, yeah. Popular spot for frat boys, maybe. I still can’t believe she got that thing for me.”
A few days after the Ambien incident, I went over to Mimi’s with Zoey to apologize. Jamie and Zoey had been emotional when they found me, but Mimi hadn’t deserved to get yelled at by them. After all, all she’d done was try to help me. She’d accepted the apology and given one of her own for leaving me that night at Flare. To make up for it, she’d offered to get me an appointment with her fake id contact. Since I didn’t want one, I convinced Zoey to take her up on the offer, just in case she wanted to let off some steam once she’d taken the MCAT.
“Well, you should think about putting that perfectly legitimate-looking document to some use,” I said, pulling away. We said our goodbyes, and after she left, I went back to finishing the place cards. They had snowflakes and little snowmen in the corners.
I loved so many things about LA, but this was my first chance to love it during Christmas. There was something disorienting yet charming about seeing palm trees lit up with Christmas lights. The mornings were crisp, the afternoons warm, and in the cool evenings, Jamie and I liked to wrap ourselves in a blanket and sit out in his backyard. He always ran hot, so the blanket would outlive its usefulness within a few minutes, and then it was just Jamie’s arms wrapped around me.
Zoey may not have been too far off when she predicted she’d need to ask Sophie to be her new roommate. I suspected Jamie was going to ask me to move in any day now. When I wasn’t in class or volunteering at the clinic, I was already spending most of my time with him. I loved Jamie more deeply than I’d ever thought was possible. Discovering that unending capacity for love inside of me made me realize I could spare some of it for myself. My inner self-critic hadn’t been silenced completely, but I was making steady progress. It was easier to make progress when I stopped expecting perfection. I’d pushed through my nerves and awkwardness and made a few friends in my classes. And driven by my desire to make a real impact at the clinic, I was putting up my hand for more opportunities to help out.
Still, it wasn’t all sunshine—on days when Jamie got really quiet, I knew he was struggling with his cravings. It made me want to unblock Oliver’s number, set up a time to meet, and kick him in the nuts until he couldn’t stand again. But the bastard didn’t deserve even that kind of attention. The lawsuit had made headlines and now Oliver and his father were pariahs in the industry. No one would ever work with either of them again.
I stacked the finished place cards and glanced at the time. It was five pm, and the dinner was meant to start at six thirty, so I had to get going to Jamie’s.
Before I could get up from the table, my phone’s screen glowed with a new message from Jamie.
“Take your time. Everyone’s running late.”
I walked into my bedroom.“What should I wear?”
“Whatever you want.”
Smirking, I took off the casual jersey dress I was wearing and snapped a mirror selfie of me in my black underwear.“This work?”
Jamie’s response was immediate.“Keep sending pictures like that, and dinner will be cancelled. You almost made me drop the ham.”
I laughed when a moment later his second message arrived.“On second thought, fuck the dinner. I’ll let everyone know they need to make their own plans.”
JAMIE
The doorbell rang and I closed the oven on the enormous chunk of glazed ham that needed at least another thirty minutes.
Ivy’s latest message said,“Don’t be a grinch. I’ll see you soon. Just wanted to give you a peek at your late-night dessert.”
Leave it to Ivy to make the chocolate cake I’d picked up at the patisserie seem lackluster in comparison.
The bell rang again, and I cursed Ivy for giving me a semi at the most inopportune moment. Thank God I was wearing an apron. I went to open the door, and on the other side stood my ma, Fox, and Reina, all of them grinning from ear to ear.
“J!” Ma exclaimed, leaving a lipstick kiss on my cheek. “I was so excited I couldn’t sleep all night.”
“Big day, huh?” Fox barked from behind her, pulling Reina into his side. “How are you feeling?”
“Good,” I said, playing off the nervousness I’d been trying to ignore all day. “Come in.” I waved them inside. As I was closing the door, a taxi appeared at the end of my driveway, and Zoey waved at me out of the car’s open window.
