His question put a smile on my face. “Always.”
We’d played through a diverse catalogue by the time I had to start getting ready to leave.
Too caught up in our music, I’d forgotten I wanted to go home to change before work. Silas found an old T-shirt of his somewhere in the depths of his closet that was only about three sizes too large.
“Damn, you got big since then, huh?” I commented.
He smirked, and the curve of his lips sent a flock of butterflies through my gut. “I started working out after the whole house fiasco and put on close to sixty pounds.”
I blatantly checked him out, for once not caring that he knew I was looking. He worked hard for that body, and I wanted him to know that I thought he looked good.
“You feeling better?” I asked, casting one final look around his place for any of my things.
“Yeah. Mostly thanks to you.”
“I didn’t do much.”
“You came back here.” His gaze was once again intense, all of his attention focused on me.
This time, I couldn’t stay silent. “Look, I want you to know something.” I took a step toward him. “I didn’t leave that time because you were too intense. Your intensity is… It’s refreshing. It’s real. I like that about you, Silas.”
There was no more than a foot between us. He watched me quietly, a question hanging in his silence.
I knew what he was asking.
Why wasn’t I willing to give this a chance?
The problem was I no longer knew the answer.
I drove to the bar with loud rock blasting in my car, trying not to think about how Silas’s hazel eyes had shone as I left, as if he were looking into a flame.
I served the regulars on autopilot, slinging drinks left and right, the frantic pace of Saturday night at the Crooked Stool somehow still not enough to rid me of the confusion churning in my gut.
When we had played together earlier today, it had felt like Silas had crawled into my soul and taken residency. Many times, I caught myself staring at the tattoos on his arms, the images taken from worlds and stories that weren’t our own. I wanted so badly to ask about them, but I felt like that was something I hadn’t earned. I didn’t deserve to know, not when I’d rejected him out of nothing but fear.
Courage.The word on my arm taunted me as I poured an amber ale from the keg.
Could I be brave enough to take what I wanted? I thought back to Cole’s earlier words.Room for more.What if it really was up to me?
The rational part of my brain screamed inside my head. This was not going to end well. We had a week left, and then we might never see each other again. I’d slept with two of his best friends.
I recited these reasons like a prayer, yet they gave me no relief. Is this what it felt like to watch a hurricane coming ashore? Like no matter what you did, some things were inevitable?
SILAS
It was well past one am when the incessant knocking forced me up from the couch. I had been in that weird state between being asleep and awake, when thoughts tended to trail away from coherence into a much fuzzier territory. Seeing Adeline at my door jolted me right back to wide-fucking-awake.
She looked at me with a devastating expression. She was crying, and the sight of her tears crushed my heart like it was a scrap piece of metal. I didn’t think she’d realized she was crying, because her eyes widened when I reached to brush her tears away.
“I- I- I-” she stuttered, struggling to get out whatever she’d come here to say.
I acted on pure instinct and pulled her across the threshold into my chest. “Shh…”
“I slept with Ezra and Cole,” she whispered into my shirt, her voice so weak I barely picked out the words.
This is what had gotten her into this state? Did she think I would freak out?
I pulled away gently, still holding on to her arms as I tried to meet her eyes. She lifted her gaze to my face inch by inch, probably afraid of what she’d see in my expression.
