Silas couldn’t even protest that because it had happened before.
“I won’t. I’m going to order some takeout, eat, and call it an early night. I’ve done enough damage for one day.”
Ending the call, I hung my head and rubbed my eyes with the heels of my palms.
This day really had gone from bad to worse. My morning had started with paying a visit to my father in his nursing home. That place repulsed me as much as it seemed to delight the people in the ads plastered on every wall of the reception area. They all looked so happy to be locking their parents away and having someone else take care of them.
I, on the other hand, felt like the shittiest son in the world.
My relationship with my dad was complicated, but we had gotten to a good place by the time I had to leave home to start Bleeding Moonlight’s first tour. We had a few solid years before he started to deteriorate.
My twin sisters were a few years younger than me and had been in their second year of college when it started to get bad enough that we couldn’t leave him home on his own. It wouldn’t have been fair to ask them to come back, and the band had toured non-stop during those years. So I did the only thing I thought made sense. I signed the papers for Shan Valley Nursing Homes, a luxury facility for the elderly. My dad had moved in a week later.
Now, whenever I came back to River Valley and saw him, those goddamned posters taunted me. Each time I said goodbye, I felt just like one of those disingenuous models, hiding all the pain and guilt behind an insincere smile.
I had failed him, just like I’d failed Charlie.
Standing up and grabbing a glass of water, I pondered if I was going to fail the rest of the band.
It would have been so much easier to take a step back and let the dominoes fall where they may. If Able got his wish and we broke up, I’d be free of this responsibility over them that had felt like a noose around my neck ever since Charlie’s death.
It was my decision to put some space between Charlie and the rest of us. I thought I was protecting the rest of the guys from his negativity, his bleak outlook on the world, but instead, I’d simply isolated him from the people who could’ve helped him.
My gaze landed on the photo of us I had framed above the couch. It was from aRolling Stonephotoshoot a few years ago. Charlie’s face stared at me, his lips in a smirk I’d seen a thousand times.
“You were always smirking at the world, Charlie,” I whispered. “You’d tell us how much you hated everything but act like you were above it all. I didn’t know how badly you were hurting, friend.” My eyes drifted shut. “I didn’t know.”
I knew the band needed me now. Was I willing to walk away solely in hopes of protecting myself?
My mind jumped to Adeline. She hadn’t walked away from her sister. She was one of the most courageous people I had ever known.
You should tell her that.
Despite the bombshell from Silas, I was glad I now had an excuse to seek her out tomorrow. The idea of spending time together with her lifted some of the darkness in my head. Calling now would be too obvious, but I had a feeling I knew where I’d find her tomorrow morning.
I also needed to have a talk with Cole when he came back from LA. Getting Adeline to consider what him and Silas had dreamed up required a subtle touch, something our guitarist completely lacked.
Thankfully, I knew just what might work.
ADELINE
The next morning, I trudged back to the gym, needing an outlet for the uncomfortable emotions still swirling in my mind. As I made my way between the various pulley machines to the bench press, I spotted a familiar head of hair.
Ezra was in the middle of a set, and I waited for him to finish before coming up to say hello.
“Look at what the cat dragged in,” I said to him, looking for any hint he’s heard what had happened with Silas and me.
His lips pulled back into a charming smile, showing off his pearly whites. His forehead was wet with sweat, and he grabbed the towel slung over his neck to wipe himself off.
“You inspired me to come more often,” he said, drawing a shy smile from me. There was nothing off in how he was acting and looking at me, and I allowed myself to relax.
“How’s your weekend going so far?” he asked, standing up from the bench and coming closer. I caught a whiff of what must been his sweat, and my thighs clenched at the musky scent.
I gave him a brief rundown of my session with Silas, obviously omitting the kiss, and shared a few factoids about my evening at the bar.
“What are you doing after this?” he asked as I lowered myself to take his earlier spot on the bench.
“I was just gonna hang out at home. I have a few hours before my shift starts.”
