“Fuck, Ade. Let me tell you—think twice before having kids.”
I snorted. “It’s not even here yet, and you’re already complaining?”
He groaned. “Van’s doing fine, but her family gives overbearing a whole new meaning. They either think we’re completely incapable of raising the kid, or they’re all hidden childhood development experts. I could write a book with the amount of advice we’re getting over FaceTime on a daily basis.”
We fell into our familiar banter as Liam told me everything his in-laws had been advising them on. The distraction from my own issues was more than welcome, and I served patrons as I listened to his stories.
When he quieted down and shot me a questioning look, I knew the distraction was over.
“So what’s been going on with you?”
I took my time closing out a tab for one of the regulars before turning to face him again. “You remember how you told me I didn’t have time to waste on pipe dreams?”
He nodded, his face taking on an uncomfortable expression at his own old words.
“Well, I should have listened to you, but I didn’t. Bleeding Moonlight asked me to join the band, and I was actually going to do it until everything blew up in my face.”
Liam’s jaw was on the floor. “Holy shit, Ade! They asked you to join them? That’s huge.”
“So huge that I should have known it was too good to be true.” I rubbed the back of my neck as I looked up at the ceiling.
“Wait, what happened?”
I described how the guys managed to convince me it was a good idea—omitting the part where I had slept with three of them—and how Abel eventually made it clear that I could never be up to task.
Liam let out a long breath after I was finished.
“Molly thinks I should talk to them,” I added as I wiped down the counter, “but honestly, I’m still too fucking raw about the whole thing. She says I should let them explain. Thing is, I don’t really want to hear it. I’ve already wasted enough of my time entertaining the idea of being a full-time musician.”
“I agree with Molly.”
My brows rose as our eyes met.
Liam rubbed at his chin. “Ade, I really regret what I said to you that day, and the fact that you keep referencing that conversation makes me feel awful. I want to be honest with you. After looking inward, I realized I said those things from a place of envy, not friendship. You’ve always been a more talented guitarist than me. You have incredible stage presence. You can write kickass songs that sound better than anything I could ever write. I was envious of you because it’s been obvious for years you were meant for something more than the rest of us. We fucked around with Through Azure Skies, but you always took it seriously.”
I picked at a cardboard coaster, fraying its edges. “Jesus, Liam,” I said after a while. “I didn’t know you felt that way.”
“I don’t think I knew it consciously either, until saying those things forced me to take a hard look at myself.”
This felt like a moment that required something harder than beer, so I poured two shots of whiskey and handed one to him.
Liam slammed it back and continued. “I couldn’t keep playing with the band. I know that was the right decision for me and my family, but I shouldn’t have shut down your ideas the way I did. You have what it takes to succeed—the full goddamn package. Meet with them. You’ll either put the whole thing to rest and be free to look for new opportunities, which you won’t have any trouble finding, or you could discover that what went down with Abel was just a huge mistake. Either way, don’t give up on music. It’s what you were always meant to do.”
I swirled my drink, watching the amber liquid coat the sides of the glass before settling back down. Maybe Liam was right. I could pursue my dream regardless of what happened with Bleeding Moonlight. Confidence was building inside of me like it hadn’t in years, but I couldn’t deny my need for closure. How had we gone from Ezra telling me he loved me to this? My feelings for them were as strong as ever, and the thought of not seeing them again made my blood run cold.
This couldn’t be how we ended everything. It was time for me to answer my phone.
* * *
When I messaged Ezra that I was ready to talk after closing the bar on Sunday, I didn’t expect to find Abel on my doorstep Monday morning. He looked as handsome as ever, and it took all the air out of my lungs. It’s like being away from him for almost three days had removed the small immunity I’d built up to his appearance.
But being unbelievably attractive didn’t change the fact that he had acted like a huge asshole. I was on my guard.
“Come in,” I offered, my voice clipped. He was looking at me with a weird expression on his face, but he stepped inside without a word.
It was awkward as hell. I offered him a glass of water, which he refused, before leading him to the living room and settling down on the couch. I waited for him to say something, because I sure wasn’t going to start. He was the one who’d humiliated me, and I wasn’t going to make this easy.
“Adeline, I’m a fucked-up, broken person.”
