Page 35 of Seasons of Sin

“Yeah.” She drew in a shuddering breath. “I’m trying to distract myself.”

He understood that completely.

“It is not particularly interesting,” he ran his hands lower, to her perfect, round ass. He cupped it and felt himself harden immediately. She was so relaxed. So perfect. With him, she could be completely herself. He would never have stifled her as Jordan had.

Jordan. How he hated the man!

Saphire yawned. It was late, but neither of them wanted to sleep. To sleep on their last night would be a waste.

“My business will only take a day or two.” He reached for a nearby candle and trickled some of the wax onto his finger.

Beneath him, Saphire’s heart kicked up a gear. “And then?”

He shook his head. “Not London,” he responded instantly. “Nothing would please me more than to see you again. But I will not share you. Not with him, not with anyone.”

Her pulse fired like a torrent of volcanic lava. “I don’t want to be shared.” A single tear leaked from her eye and dribbled down her cheek. “I’m not cut out for this. I could never cheat. I hate it.”

“Do you?”

“Not being with you. I love … that.” It was the closest she could come to admitting her feelings; to go further would have been the ultimate indulgence, but it wouldn’t have been fair to Thaddeus or Jordan. “I just feel so horrible. I thought this would atone for his sins. Instead, I’ve just created a heap of my own.”

Thaddeus compressed his lips.

“I thought I’d be able to go back and throw this in his face. I don’t even know how I’ll look at him.”

He dragged his mouth over her shoulder. “You have other options.”

“Such as?” She whispered.

“Stay here.”

The words were just sinking in when she felt the first trickle of hot wax on her back. It sent a spiral of beautiful discomfort into the pit of her stomach. She jerked involuntarily and he smiled. But it was a sad smile; what she had become and what she had made him become … these were not good things.

He was moving the candle methodically, covering much of her back. After the first burst of heat, it felt perfect. Amazing. Sensual. She groaned and felt her insides clench.

“I need you.” She blinked her eyes rapidly. “I think I will always need you. Always want you.”

“Stay.” He said again, sitting up straighter to stare at the wax pattern on her pale skin.

“For how long?” She sighed heavily. “This situation is making you think you want something that you don’t. You’re not interested in me. Not really. You just can’t stand the fact that I’m leaving you for him.”

“You are damned right about that,” he snarled. He gripped her wrist and lifted his hips just high enough so that she could flip onto her back. “But I want you, too. If there was no Jordan, and only you, I would still want you here, Saphire.”

The words should have made her happy but they didn’t. What he was offering felt like a billion miles away from something she could grasp.

“I live in London.”

“With a husband you despise and who certainly doesn’t respect you, no job, friends who sleep with your husband, and parents who love you enough to visit you anywhere in the world as often as you’d like.”

Everything he said rung with truth but she whipped her head away, outraged and upset. Sometimes, the truth really did hurt.

“You don’t have to see him again to begin divorce proceedings. Send the letter. Have your parents move your stuff out. And start a new life.”

She lifted her hands to his chest. “That’s not the right way.” Her mind was heavy with thoughts. “You know it isn’t.”

“Who gives a flying f… who gives a crap about the ‘right’ way. Did he? When he was screwing Anita on your bed?”

“No,” she groaned. “But I do. I don’t know if I’ll be able to move on from this. I just know that I owe it to what we used to be to try. To at least talk to him. If I hadn’t met you, I would have flown back after a couple of days. I would have faced him already, and who knows? Maybe everything would have been fine by now.”