“Are you going to show me the house? I can’t wait to see where we’re going to start our life together.”
He shuts his eyes for a long moment and takes a deep breath. “Chad, you are not moving in. We are not living together. I told you, the only reason we didn’t immediately annul our marriage is because I’m never going to get married, so it doesn’t matter. In my eyes, we aren’t married. What we did was a stupid mistake we can both forget all about.”
“Ouch,” I mutter automatically, unable to hide my flinch.
The night of our wedding, he told me he made a promise to himself he’d never marry anyone because he’d lost the person he’d planned to marry. I didn’t really know what he meant, and I still don’t, but I thought he’d agreed thattheywould want him to be happy when he decided to marry me that night, and choosing to do something that would make us both happy is definitely not a mistake.
My mom’s super into self-help books and personal growth. She’s been sharing what she learns with me my whole life, so I like to think I know a thing or two about being in touch with my emotions. I just need to figure out a way to get John there and remind him how happy we were when we said “I do.”
Oh my God! I have a genius idea. I pull out my phone and click on the video Scotty took of our wedding vows, scrolling until it’s John’s turn to talk. “I don’t think you mean that,” I say as I hold the phone out so he can watch and press play.
“Chad… you are exhausting. You are loud. You don’t listen. You touch me way too much.”The video shows me nodding in agreement to all of that, standing in front of him, holding his hands in mine on the altar.“But… you’ve also made me laugh more in the last few days than I ever would’ve expected, and I guess I had kind of forgotten what that felt like. For some reason, being here with you doesn’t seem wrong. I’m sure you’re going to wake up and regret this tomorrow because as I’ve mentioned repeatedly, I am a man?—”
“No, I won’t! I swear!”I hear my own voice cut in on the clip.
“Chad, I don’t really know what it is about you. You’re right, though, you’re just special. I don’t hate it.”
My chest tightens every single time I watch the video when he says that, and I lock my phone before I can spiral because I’m sure I’ll eventually get this reaction out of him again. I have to. I can’t give up on us.
Our connection was about so much more than realizing I’m attracted to a man. John made me feel cared for and protected in a way no one else ever has. Him choosing me that weekend made me feel seen for who I really am. I want to feel that way again, and I’m ready to do whatever it takes to make him smile, to earn his laughter, to feel like he really cares about me the way he seemed to when we were in Vegas.
“John, please don’t downplay our connection,” I insist. “If it didn’t exist, there’s no way we’d be looking at each other like that in the video. You never would have agreed to marry me if we didn’t clearly make each other so happy. Even if we did do a lot of shots that night, I only think it made us more honest with each other. Let me show you how good we can be. Please?”
“Fuuuck, Chad,” he groans again, rubbing his hands over his face, still sounding frustrated. Probably because he knows I’m right.
I don’t know why he’s so afraid to admit it.
Finally, he scratches his beard, looks over my shoulder toward my car in his driveway, and heaves out a deep sigh. “You can come in, but I’m finding you a hotel.”
2
JOHN
“Fucking hell,” I mutter after I hang up the phone again. “They’re full too.”
Everything’s booked for the weekend—the small hotel, the motel coming into town, the options in Huntsville, the bigger town thirty minutes out where most people stay when they visit Liam’s farm. I even tried the Lewis family, who sometimes rent their house on one of those apps, but they’re in town for the wedding, so no luck there either.
“How did you not think to book a hotel for your best friend’s wedding?” I demand. Chad is smiling innocently at me from his stool at my counter, one of the only pieces of furniture even in the house at this point, while I lean against the counter on the opposite side of my kitchen, trying to think of somewhere, anywhere Chad can stay that isn’t this house.
“Because, myhusband”—he emphasizes the word as if I haven’t heard him refer to me in that ridiculous way enough times today—“lives down the road. We talked about me moving here when we got married, but I just haven’t had the time to wrap up everything that I needed to in the city until now. Why in the world would I get a hotel?”
His blue eyes are wide as he blinks up at me, as if he truly can’t comprehend the fact that we aren’t really husbands but two acquaintances who made a drunk decision. I attempt a steadying breath so I don’t say anything I’ll regret later.
As frustrating as Chad’s surprise visit is, he doesn’t actually deserve my anger. I know he means well, and if he is still hung up on the idea that he really does like me, I need to let him down gently. “Chad. You can’t move in here. We barely know each other. Despite what some piece of paper you have says, we aren’t together.”
“Not just together, John. Married. Legally. What’s mine is yours, and what’s yours is mine. So this is my house too! I can’t wait for us to make it our own.”
My gut twists at that. This is absolutely not his house. I still feel weird claiming it as mine. But I know now isn’t the time to get into that with him. He sounds so fucking excited as if this is some rom-com movie and we’re about to shack up and play happy husbands.
Before I can wrap my head around how to respond to tell him how wrong he is, Chad continues. “I know I’m not as handy as you are; you’re an electrician, right? But I think I’ll be a quick learner, and I can help! I quit my job so I’ll have plenty of time to do whatever you need.”
“You quit your job?” I blurt out. I know I need to address everything he’s said, like the fact that we don’t even know each other’s professions, but quitting seems extreme, even for him.
Chad only shrugs. “It’s not a big deal. I was just working for my family’s company, and my parents are thrilled that I’ve decided to chase my dreams out in the country. That’s what I told them since you asked me not to mention the marriage. Although I did tell them I met someone out here and wanted to move because things were serious with him. It’s not like I could work in the city and live out here.”
He said all of that so quickly and casually, but… “You told your family you’re seriously involved with aman?”
His smile somehow grows as he nods. “They’re all so happy for me. I didn’t give any names—I never want to break my promises to you—and I told them you’re pretty shy, so they’ll have to wait until you’re ready to meet them, but they’re thrilled.”
