His eyebrows furrow, and his gaze is darting around my face, searching for something. “You’re signing up to get hurt. I mean it, I can’t give you more. You can’t approach this hoping sex will lead to us dating.”
I appreciate that he thinks he’s looking out for me, but come on. “That’s my decision to make, John, and I know what I’m doing. I’m a grown ass adult, and I want to have sex with you! Now, if you don’t want to hook up with me, that’s a different conversation, of course. But if you want this, and you’re only holding yourself back because you think you’re doingmea favor, don’t.”
I stare at him seriously, willing him to believe me, to agree that this is a great plan. He’s come up with every excuse for why we can’t do this, and none of them change what’s actually there. This thing between us isn’t one-sided, no matter how much he wants to pretend it is. “You say you do arrangements, so let’s make one. I don’t know what I’m doing, but I want to learn. I want you to teach me. Tell me what to do. Show me?—”
He cuts me off, slamming me against the wall behind me while cradling the back of my head in his hand so he doesn’t concuss me out of passion. And finally, his lips are on mine.
His lips are on mine!
Again.
All coherent thoughts are gone. Evaporated as John’s hands move, gripping me tight. One in my hair and the other around my hip as he squeezes. His tongue dominates mine in my mouth, and I love how freeing it is to give myself over to him; love knowing I’m the one pulling this desperation out of him.
My whole body feels alive in a way that only ever happens when he kisses me, and it’s completely addicting. This is what I’ve been craving for the last couple of months. I whine as he breaks the kiss. We’re both breathing hard, staring at each other, but it’s different from at the wedding. I don’t think he’s pulling back because he plans to end things here.
“Just sex?” he checks again, and the hope shining in his green eyes makes me so happy.
I can’t hold back my smile as I nod, and after a moment, he mirrors the move.
“Fuck, it’s been so long since I was anyone’s first time…” He trails off, and I start to panic that he’s going to change his mind, but he continues, and I immediately relax. “I’ll try to be gentle with you, but if anything feels like too much, you have to promise you’ll tell me, okay? We’ll use the stop light method. Green, yellow, red. Do you understand?”
I nod again. I can’t believe this is finally happening, and his raspy, commanding tone has me in a daze.
“Words, Chad. I need words.”
“Yes!” I nearly shout. “Green, yellow, red. I got it. I’m green. So green. I want this.” My body feels like it’s on fire, burning up from the desire I feel for him, and I’m desperate to continue.
“Tell meexactlywhat you want, Chad. I need to know what your expectations are for tonight. Any limits you have.”
I don’t hesitate this time. “I want to touch your pierced dick. I’ve been thinking about it since Vegas.”
“So handjobs?”
“And mouthjobs!” I blurt out before realizing that’s not a thing. “I mean, using my mouth!” I quickly clarify. “Blowjobs. I want your piercings in my mouth. I’ve been thinking about that a lot too.”
He licks his lips as he stares at my mouth, dragging his teeth over his bottom one, and the sight has me literally weak in the knees. “You want to suck my dick, Princess?” John’s voice is somehow even deeper now, and the tone combined with his nickname for me has all my blood rushing toward my cock.
I quickly nod. “Yes, please.”
He smirks and then he’s grunting, “Bedroom, now,” as he moves toward the stairs. I hurry to follow, and when we get into the room, he turns to face me, putting his hands on my shoulders. “On your knees.”
I don’t hesitate. I drop down immediately, looking up at him, doing my very best to ignore my own rock-hard dick. He reaches down to unbutton his suit pants, slowly dragging the zipperdown, and my breath hitches as he lets the fabric fall past his thick, tattooed thighs. I want to memorize every line of ink in his skin, but I know now isn’t the time for that. Hopefully one day.
Saliva is pooling in my mouth as I wait so patiently for him to tell me what to do. I’m frozen in place, afraid to make a wrong move that could jeopardize this perfect moment.
But instead of telling me to open wide so he can fuck my face or something equally sexy, when he speaks, he surprises me with something much more responsible. “I was tested before Vegas and haven’t been with anyone since. I’m negative and on PrEP, but I can use a condom if you want.”
Oh. I’ve been so excited to finally be with him I hadn’t even thought of that. I love that he’s looking out for me, though. “I’d rather not if you’re okay with it. I trust you, and I’m negative too. I don’t take anything, but I haven’t been with anyone since before Vegas, and I’ve been tested since then.”
“So no condoms?” he confirms.
I nod. “Green.”
My use of the color system makes him smile, and I love having that effect on him. I want John to be proud of me. I want him to be so pleased with me that he never thinks about having an arrangement with anyone else again.
He reaches into his black boxer briefs to slide them down, and there it is, the focus of my fantasies for the last two months, now just inches in front of my face. My cock is leaking, but I continue to ignore it as my gaze fixates on the metal against his skin. The Prince Albert at the tip, the smooth curve of it, is even hotter than I remember. I lick my lips, desperate to feel him against my tongue or even to see the line of his Jacob’s Ladder. I need to know what it feels like in my mouth, to lick up each bar and feel the metal under his delicate skin.
“Open,” John demands, and I immediately do. Fuck, I know this is all so new to me, but I love it. I’m kneeling in front of him on the carpet in his bedroom, fully clothed, with my mouth wideopen, waiting for him to use me how he pleases. I’ve never felt sexier. He’s staring at me with so much lust in his eyes as if he wants to devour me. I love it.
