“Because I love you,” she added.
“And I love you more than life itself.” I cradled her head in my hands and held her close.
“I just think…” She twisted the end of one braid around her finger. “Maybe you’re lonely.”
A laugh almost came out of me, but it got stuck somewhere painful. I had been lonely for so long I didn’t always recognize it anymore. It had become part of the furniture of my life, tucked between practices and school drop-offs and dinners with my parents and FaceTime calls from hotel rooms. I was lonely after wins. Lonely after losses. Lonely on the nights Isla was asleep and the condo was too quiet. I had never wanted her to feel that loneliness.
I released the hug and smoothed a hand over her hair. “Listen to me. You don’t need to worry about me.”
“I know.”
“I mean it. That’s not your job.” A frown tugged at my mouth.
“I know.” Her eyes were bright, but she blinked hard, refusing to let anything fall. Stubborn little thing. “But maybe you could try.”
There it was. Everyone in my life from my mom and dad to my coach had tried to convince me to date and settle down. After what happened with Amy, I decided to never put my heart on the line again. Now my entire philosophy on settling down came into question with Isla standing in front of me with her camp clothes packed and her little heart on her sleeve.Maybe you could try.Those words struck at a cord in my heart because I would do anything for her.
I kissed her forehead. “I’ll try.”
“Yesss.” She fist pumped the air.
Her grin broke through, and the ache in my chest loosened by one painful degree. An hour later, we were at the airport, and I was not fine. The camp had arranged group travel for the Dallas kids flying to LA. The girls were meeting at the terminalwith a counselor who would fly with them, then take them to the camp bus on the other end. It was organized, safe, and perfectly normal. I still hated every second of it.
Isla had her backpack on and her suitcase rolling behind her, looking much too small to be walking through an airport like she owned the place. Mila was already there with Cole, Holland, and Jaden. She had one arm looped through Isla’s, the two girls bouncing with the kind of excitement that made it impossible for me to be openly miserable without looking like a monster.
Jaden stood beside Cole in basketball shorts and a Blaze T-shirt, his hair messy, his expression caught between boredom and concern. He had come to say goodbye to Mila before his own hockey camp started in Dallas, though he was trying very hard to look like he didn’t care.
Cole lifted his chin at Isla. “You ready?”
“Yes,” Isla said, grinning.
She was beaming. Excited. She wanted this, and I wanted her to have it all.
“No,” I mumbled at the same time.
Cole’s mouth twitched.
Holland gave me one of her gentle smiles, the kind that made me feel like she could see straight through my ribs. “She’s going to have the best time.”
“That’s what everyone keeps saying,” I murmured.
Despite myself, I laughed.
The automatic doors slid open behind us, sending in a rush of warm air and airport noise. I turned because my nerves were already stripped raw, and then I saw her. CC hurried toward us, phone in one hand, sunglasses pushed up into her hair.
“I’m so sorry I’m late,” she said, slightly breathless. “Got caught up at the hospital, and then parking was a nightmare.”
It had been a week since I walked into that pool house bathroom and found Catherine Celia under the shower, nakedand flushed, getting herself off. A week of not sleeping right. I hadn’t known she was in there. I hadn’t known what I was walking into. I had apologized. I had left. I had done everything a decent man was supposed to do. Except for the fact that I couldn’t help getting myself off in the shower to the memory of her fingers between her thighs.
Now she was walking toward us in cut-off jean shorts and a ribbed yellow tank top that fit her like it had been designed specifically to ruin my life. The hem stopped high enough to reveal a strip of tanned stomach, and right at her navel was a tiny diamond piercing that caught the airport lights when she moved. I had not noticed that at the barbecue. I had been too busy trying not to notice every other inch of her. My mouth went dry.
I looked away immediately, which was both obvious and useless.
“CC!” Mila launched herself at her sister. “I knew you’d make it.”
CC laughed and bent to hug her. “There’s my girl. I told you I’d get to say goodbye. Are you excited?”
“Yup.”
