Jill’s gaze narrowed. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. It’s just that…” She sighed and looked at her aunt before she spoke, wanting to see her reaction to what she was about to say. “I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to keep spending time with Peter like this. I’ll be leaving next week and…”
“And?”
“And it feels like we’re both dancing around something between us, something that could never happen.”
Jill’s expression barely changed, just the tiniest smile lifting her mouth. “And this thing you say you’re both dancing around, if it did happen, would it be so terrible?”
“You mean, if we moved from two friends just catching up to two people having a fling, then yes, I think that might be pretty terrible.”
Jill laughed. “Yes, flings are known to be absolutely gruesome. It’s a wonder so many people indulge in them so readily.”
“Aunt Jill! You know what I mean.”
“I’m not sure I do. Why don’t you explain it to me.”
Jill’s warmly amused expression only made Gaby feel more foolish about all this. Did she even know how to explain it?
“Peter and I were kids when we were together that summer all those years ago,” she began. “I have such lovely memories of the time we spent together. He was my first love and that’s something special in a woman’s life.”
“Of course it is.”
“But I hadn’t really thought much about those memories, or Peter for that matter, for a very long time before I came here to visit you. Life moves on. There’s no denying it’s been nice catching up with Peter. But I’ll be leaving soon. If weareboth dancing around something more than simply catching up as old friends, and if we ended up taking things further, it would spoil those lovely memories I have from before.”
“Why would it spoil them?”
Gaby shrugged, frustrated because she obviously wasn’t explaining this properly. “Because we were kids back then and we had that whole summer together. Now we’re adults and I’m leaving in less than a week. Getting involved casually just because we find each other attractive and want to scratch an itch would feel… temporary and cheap.”
Jill looked thoughtful. “I understand where you’re coming from and what you’re saying. But let me put this question to you. While you’re travelling from place to place for work, you get involved with men you find attractive, don’t you?”
“Well, yes.”
“And you get involved with men whose company you enjoy despite the fact that you know you’ll move on at some point in the short-term.”
“Yes, that’s also true.”
“And yet those short-term relationships don’t feel cheap to you, do they?”
“Of course not.” Gaby would never get involved with a man or with a romantic situation that made her feel that way. “We both go in with our eyes open, we enjoy the time we have together and have fun, and then we move on.”
“But you can’t apply that same approach to Peter?”
“No, I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’d want much more than that, even though I know I can’t have it!” Gaby almost shouted.
She hadn’t meant to raise her voice or become so animated, but her aunt’s persistent questioning had hit a raw nerve.
And the look on Jill’s face said she knew that.
“In that case, it sounds very much like you have your answer already,” Jill said. “Perhaps it’s for the best if you don’t see Peter again.”
Hearing her aunt say those words and confirm what Gaby was thinking should have brought reassurance that it was the right move. Instead, it only left her feeling sad and hollow.
“Good, so you agree with me,” Gaby said, determined not to show her true feelings because that would only leave them back at the start of their fruitless discussion.
