“Good gracious.” Her knees threatened to buckle.
He stepped back from her when the sound of other riders came from the distance. “Have I shocked you?”
Yes. “No.”
“May I kiss you again in the future?”
Cheeky sod. “Yes.”
“Do more than kissing?” He arched his brow in a mischievous expression that had her heart racing in a moment.
Her body warmed all over again. “I’m not sure.”
He gently took her face when the riders were gone although the receiving house hid them. “I won’t do anything you don’t want me to, but I must be honest. I like you a lot. You’re charming, and I would like to kiss you again.”
“Do you mean you want to court me?” She hated that her voice sounded small, but his proposal took her off guard. Two marriage proposals in a year! How odd.
He released her face and stepped back from her. “No, darling. I’m not going to marry you. If that bothers you, then we’ll just be friends. Your choice.”
“Oh.” Was she disappointed? No.
She felt like an idiot for having been naïve enough to assume he wanted to marry her after just one kiss. But aside from that, his honesty lifted a weight off her shoulders. Another marriage proposal would have been too much since she’d had no idea what to do about the first one.
What he proposed was exciting, wrong, and heady. A secret affair with a handsome gentleman without the burden of the ‘till death do us part’ commitment. A gentleman she trusted and who was her friend.
“Rest assured,” he said. “I will not speak of our agreement to anyone. I swear it. Your reputation will remain unblemished. My rules are simple—no courting, no wedding, no gossip, only pleasure.”
It should be a simple choice. She should say no, thank you, as Mother would want her to. But…all the wonderful sensations the kiss had triggered were still dancing along her body, and she liked them.
She liked how they made her feel—beautiful, desirable, and special. Was she in love with Patrick? No, she didn’t think so because the thought of marrying him and spending the rest of her life with him concerned her. She wouldn’t be happy with him as her husband. But she couldn’t deny the attraction or the curiosity of exploring, feeling, and experiencing things new to her.
Other women her age were already experienced, having kissed or spent intimate hours with a gentleman, and she was curious. Those girls talked about passion and pleasure as the best things in life. Could it be true? Judging by how her body hummed after the kiss, yes, it could.
After a kiss on her cheek, he guided her out of the receiving house. She was floating on a cloud of pleasant opportunities.
“Think about it.” He helped her onto her horse, staring at her with a hunger she’d never seen in the eyes of a man, and her pulse spiked. “I’ll certainly think about it.” He pulled down her glove and kissed her inner wrist right over the swift kick of a vein.
She gasped both at the audacity and the shot of pleasure his soft lips started.
She would think about his proposal, too.
Hours later, she had thought about it so much she was restless.
After their ride, she couldn’t find peace in the glasshouse. Pruning and nurturing her plants did nothing to calm the rising emotion in her. A book was needed. A long, solitary activity to think.
Half an hour later, she was wandering the house with Machiavelli’sThe Princein her hands. She’d chosen a book that didn’t involve any romantic scenes, poetry, or love stories. Just a man obsessed with power and how to crush his enemies.
Her reading choice didn’t help. Patrick’s kiss and words were the only things she could think about. Why couldn’t she enjoy herself? Gentlemen did it all the time, and no one cared. Why was she expected to enjoy herself only with her husband?
She almost bumped into Lawson hurrying along the corridor.
“...will fetch something for you,” Lawson said over her shoulder before coming to a halt in front of her.
“Is something the matter?” She hadn’t realised she was at the back entrance.
Lawson seemed about to cry. “You needn’t worry.”
“Whom were you talking to?” She craned her neck to see a young woman in tattered clothes standing at the back entrance.
