“The doctor said she had a heart condition, and the forced activity had caused her heart to stop. He said it wasn’t murder, but I disagreed.” He pushed down the memory of the sweet music, a stark contrast with the scene flashing through his mind.
Unshed tears shone in her eyes. “What happened to the jockey?”
He huffed. “One night, he left a brothel so drunk he fell into the Thames and drowned. I didn’t shed a tear when I learnt the news.”
“And what happened to you?”
“After I was kicked out of the brothel, I did everything to survive. I’m not the gentleman you think I am.” He let out a bitter chuckle. “Look at me. I’m a thief, no matter how polished I am.”
“I beg to differ.” She cupped his cheek. “I understand why helping those women is so important to you.”
“I feel so powerless, just as I was when my mother was killed in front of me. I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t save her, andshe died because no one protected her. I should have protected her.”
She held him, and he buried his face in the crook of her neck. He wrapped his arms around her to push aside the onslaught of horrible memories assaulting him.
“This is why you don’t dance,” she whispered, caressing his nape.
“I feel sick just thinking about dancing. I shiver, and nausea torments me. I can’t do it. Her pale face will forever be impressed in my mind.”
“Royston, stop torturing yourself. You were a scared child, and she was ill. There was nothing you could do to save her.”
He inhaled her rose scent. “Why can I believe my life will be better when I’m with you? Why do you make me feel better? When I’m holding you, my fears stay in a dark corner of my soul and don’t dare to bother me. You scare them away, bringing a ray of sunshine into my darkness.”
He didn’t know for how long they held each other, but his dark thoughts vanished, at least for now. Only the pure happiness of holding her remained.
She took his face and pressed her mouth against his, shocking him. When she parted her lips and invited him in, he nearly shook with disbelief. He gently inched his tongue into her mouth and explored it. A soft moan escaped from her as he grazed her bottom lip lightly.
He held her closer until her body was flush with his. She arched her back, thrusting her breasts out. Slowly, he moved his hand up the flare of her hips, the curve of her waist to her breast. She released a breath when he brushed her nipple with a thumb until the tip became hard.
Her breathy moan fanned on his neck. He had to stop himself from ripping her dressing gown open and kissing hereverywhere he pleased. He slowly circled the hardened tip of her breast until she sagged against him.
“Enjoying it?” he asked.
“Oh, yes. I feel all tingly and hot.” She squeezed her thighs. “Achy.”
“I can’t allow that.” He kissed her temple. “Let me help.”
He bunched up the fabric of her dressing gown, uncovering her exquisite leg and thigh. Her skin was like velvet. They both sucked in a breath when he slipped his hand between her thighs. She was wet and warm.
“Do you want me to stop?” he whispered against her lips.
“No.” No hesitation.
At the first stroke of his fingers, she gripped his shoulders hard. The fact he didn’t feel any pain was a testament to how eager to please her he was.
He drew circles to rub her, inching a finger inside now and then. She was as tight as a fist. Another reminder he ought to be careful. He stroked her until she muffled a scream against his chest and closed her fists.
Little pulses beat against his fingers, and his trousers became painfully tight.
His arm was the only thing holding her up because she sagged against him completely, soft and warm. The deep, intense need to protect her burst within him. But above all, the need to become a better person made him shiver.
“Are you all right?” He adjusted her dressing gown, reluctantly covering her lovely legs.
She said something that was silenced by his chest since her mouth pressed against it.
“What?” He caressed the top of her head.
She lifted her head, and her face was the most beautiful sight. Her cheeks and lips were flushed, and her eyes glowed from within. “It was wonderful. Can we do it again?”
He kissed her forehead as a crazy idea formed in his mind. “I have a better idea. Marry me.”
