He leant against the wall. “It’s all right. I understand.”
“Do you?”
He nodded. “I’m not angry with you. Not anymore.”
“Good. Yes. Well. Then I… actually, I don’t understand what you understand. How can you understand when I don’t understand? There are so many things I don’t understand. I’m so confused.” Drat. She wasn’t making any sense.
“I’m confused too. But here.” He touched his head. “Not here.” He placed a hand on his chest, right over his heart.
“Oh.” Great. One moment, she vomited words. The next, she was speechless.
A corner of his mouth quirked up. “Cora.” His tone suddenly turned serious, and the air between them was charged with tension. “I love you,” he said with simplicity and without giving her time to prepare herself for an answer or a reaction.
Her mouth dropped open. She stopped fidgeting. She stopped thinking about apologising. The situation had taken a turn she hadn’t expected.
“You don’t have to say anything. I’m simply telling you the truth to make you understand why I’d do anything to make you happy, even though you don’t feel the same way as I do.”
She started fidgeting again. The last thing she wanted was to hurt him. But a storm of emotions burst within her. She’d spent many years without love and affection. She wasn’t sure if she could fall in love right now when there were many things out of her control. Or if she should let herself go and enjoy the moment without thinking about the future. But how could she not think about the future?
“Ethan, I don’t know what to say.” Ouch. Why did she always say the wrong thing? “I’m sorry…”
“Then don’t say anything.” He chuckled nervously. “I prefer you to stay silent rather than hear all the reasons why you can’t love me.”
It wasn’t that she couldn’t love him. It was a matter of time. Time for her emotions, worries, and fears to settle and let her live. And she was still married. She took his hand and held it in hers. “You’re the most wonderful man I’ve ever met.”
“Stop right there. I don’t want to hear the ‘but.’”
“There isn’t any but, only time for me to take back my life and make sure David is safe. Only then, I’ll let my heart speak loudly.”
He kissed her knuckles and put her hand on his chest. “I don’t want to put any pressure on you. You have enough of it on your own. And I don’t want to give you another reason to worry. But I’m here if you need me. I’ll always be for you and David.”
She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him, squeezing him as tightly as her recovering strength allowed. He held her, kissing her temple. She didn’t know for how long they remained hugging each other, but she released him reluctantly.
She caressed his face and ran her fingers through his hair, feeling the missing ear. “I have to return to David before he wakes up and gets scared by my absence.”
“Good night.” He stroked her cheek with such devotion she wanted to weep.
“Good night.” Although she wasn’t sure it’d be a good night.
Ethan’s emotionswent up and down in a confused state that left him exhausted as the carriage drove closer to Borrington.
Watching Cora sleeping in front of him in the carriage had filled him with sadness. He didn’t regret having told her he loved her, but he shouldn’t add more worries to her frail shoulders. His timing hadn’t been the best. She had too many concerns to deal with.
“The sea.” David stuck his head out of the window.
“Yes.” Harry squeezed himself out as well.
The boys’ enthusiasm made Ethan laugh with sheer happiness.
Cora bolted awake. “What is it?”
“The sea, Mama.” David pointed at the blue-grey expanse frothing against the cliff.
She widened her eyes at the view. He helped her move closer to the window.
“Is it the first time you’ve seen the sea?” he asked, holding her by the waist.
“No, but I haven’t seen it in years.” She inhaled. “The air smells lovely. No coal or dust.”
