‘I’m not sure,’ she whispered, thinking she might know but figuring she must be mistaken, as the consequences of such a thing ...
‘It means we had to make an incision in your tummy and remove your womb, cervix and uterus. It was entirely necessary, and I’m delighted to say was agreatsuccess – no bleeding, no more issues – but it does also mean that there will no more babies, not for you, but there we are.’ He nodded and took a breath. ‘I will say to you what I say to all women who find themselves in a similar situation: you are young, you and your husband will learn to adapt and will find joy and satisfaction in other areas of your lives, like hobbies and travel. It could be very exciting! There is also always adoption, of course. Plenty of babies looking for nice Christian homes.’
Lilly stared at him; there was so much to take in, to unpick, she found herself struck dumb. His words were a cryptic jumble in her mind, a code it would take her a little while to decipher.
‘Right.’ Dr Rudd opened the thin curtain, the closing of which had done nothing to prevent all in close proximity hearing his dire news. The woman in the bed opposite gave her a slow smile of kindness. ‘A nurse will be along in a short while to bring you some tea and you will be able to go home in about a week to ten days.’
‘Ten days?’ she said, her voice quite hoarse.
‘All being well.’ And just like that he was gone.
She sat for a while, a little numb, a little confused, trying to make sense of it all while a nurse did indeed bring her a cup of tea.
No more babies ...What did he mean exactly, no more babies? It was a most bizarre concept that failed to register in her mind.No more babies ...Surely he didn’t mean not ever? That couldn’t be right.
‘Can I get you anything else? Would you like a cheese sandwich?’ the young nurse asked, softly. Lilly was glad of her kindness, relieved the obnoxious sister was absent.
‘No. No, thank you, but I think I might need to make a telephone call.’
‘I can bring the payphone on wheels to your bed. Do you want it now?’
‘In a little bit, if that’s okay?’ She wanted to get things straight in her thoughts and figure out exactly what she was going to say.
‘’Course it is.’ The nurse winked at her. ‘I’ll bring it over.’
Lilly knew she had to call someone, tell someone; the question was, who? Certainly not her dad. And not for the first time in her life, she wished she had the kind of mum who she could call. This alone was enough to cause her to sink down under the sheets and close her eyes.No more babies ...She was eighteen! How was that even possible?
Gathering herself, unable to move with ease, Lilly did her best to twist towards the phone and held the coins in the palm of her hand.
Glenda’s mum answered almost immediately.
‘Oh hello, Lilly love, how’s you?’ The warm sing-song question sounded motherly and interested and was a chop to her throat; how come other people got mothers like this while she got Jeannie the cheat?
‘I’m fine, Mrs Brooks.’ The last thing she wanted to do was make small talk, fearful of being overcome by emotion and blurting the whole terrible truth out about where she was and what she had been through, knowing that the God-fearing Mrs Brooks would not let Glenda associate with her then. This was a thought that struck fear into her. Almost as much as the words of Dr Rudd,no more babies ...She figured there must have been some kind of mistake, surely that couldn’t be true! ‘Is Glenda there?’ She spoke with her eyes closed, shutting out the other women, their husbands, the babies and the general hubbub of the maternity ward that echoed around her, emphasising her solitude and holding up a mirror to a life that wasn’t hers.
‘Yep, one sec.Glenda! Phone! It’s Lilly!’ Mrs Brooks called loudly. ‘She’s coming, Lilly. See you soon, love.’
More pips sounded, and Lilly topped up the coins, waiting for her friend and wishing she’d get a move on.
‘Hello, mate!’ Glenda sounded pleased to hear from her.
Lilly tried to speak, tried to form the words she knew she needed to say, but at no more than the sound of her friend’s voice her sadness broke its banks and she could only sob wordlessly.
‘Oh my God, Lil! What’s wrong? What’s happened?’
‘Can you come and see me, please. Please, please, Glen, please!’ It was the first time she had begged for anything in her whole life.
‘Of course I can. I’ll come tomorrow. Where shall we meet? College?’
‘No.’ She sniffed, doing her best to control her breathing and halt her tears. ‘I’m ... I’m in St Thomas’s, in ... in the maternity ward.’
‘What you doing there?’ Glenda laughed, and Lilly understood; it really was as preposterous as it sounded.
‘I’ve been admitted.’
‘I don’t—’ Her friend swallowed. ‘I don’t know what to say.’
‘Promise me you’ll come, Glen! Please!’ she pleaded again.
