Lilly welcomed the laughter that burst from her, a much-needed hiatus for her furrowed brow and tight mouth; it made her feel a bit better. ‘Is that a thing, wooing under false pretences?’
‘It should be!’ Glenda tutted. ‘What was his plan? Seduce you, get you sloshed and make you sign over the flat?’
‘I have no idea.’ She rubbed her face, feeling the loose skin move under her fingertips. ‘I think more than likely he thought he could butter me up and get me to agree that flattening my home was a good idea.’
‘He doesn’t know you then, does he, love?’
‘No, he bloody doesn’t! I wish Bertie was still around; he knew a lot of shady characters who would break a finger or a leg for a fee.’
Glenda seemed to consider this. ‘Do you think it was more expensive to get a leg done over a finger?’
‘I suppose so, Glen. There’s probably a sliding scale for the size of the limb or appendage.’
‘Probably. Reckon it would be cheap to get Norm chopped or broken. He’s pretty small all over.’
Lilly again roared her laughter. ‘Poor Norm!’
‘We can joke, Lil, but I know how these things can set you back, make you feel rotten.’
She sat at the little table opposite her friend. ‘I do feel a bit rotten, a bit out of sorts. It’s thrown me.’
‘’Course it has.’ Glenda reached out and gently placed her hand over Lilly’s. ‘You and I both know that you are made of sterner stuff. You have weathered far worse than this, love, and you will be right as rain in no time. You can’t let him have the satisfaction of hijacking your thoughts.’
‘Bit late for that. I’ve barely slept. I feel so stupid.’ It took all her courage to admit it.
‘You, stupid?’ Glenda sighed. ‘You’ve run your own business for all these years, and your own home, looked after your dad, been thebest friend to me. You’re an incredible artist. You’re stylish, funny and smart. Ain’t nothing stupid about you, Elizabeth-Roberta.’
Lilly felt the rush of emotion up the back of her nose. To be called that ... It reminded her so powerfully of Wilkie, who, even after all these years, still had the power to reduce her to tears. It had hit her hard, no doubt, because she was low. Alfie’s duplicity had floored her, bringing back some dark memories, igniting the flame of rejection that had burned brightly since she’d found her mum to be no more than a fragrant shadow that lurked in the corner of the room.
‘Thank you, Glen. Don’t know why I’m so upset. It just all feels like a lot.’
‘Because it is a lot.’
‘Truth is, I just can’t see how I hang on to the flat. I don’t know who to talk to about it, or what to do!’ She laid her hand on the tabletop, taking a moment to think of all the meals, card games, cups of tea, the jigsaw puzzles, all of it having taken place right here on this little table. ‘I got another letter from Mr Passmore, the MP, who only confirmed what he’d already said: that it’s a wonderful opportunity and is all going ahead. I’m just a gnat in the ointment for him. I don’t count, not in the grand scheme of things, and that’s one of the hardest aspects of it for me, the fact that this is my home, and the loss of it ...’ She swallowed. ‘I spoke to Denzel a while back and he said it was almost pointless trying to fight it, told me that these companies have so much money and sway that the flag-waving of one old lady who would rather not shift cuts very little ice. It’s made me feel insignificant, and no one wants to feel like that. I’m disappointed. It feels so unfair. I haven’t let myself think that I might actually have to move, not really, until now. But it feels likely, and I am utterly bereft at the prospect, but I’m also tired, Glen’ – she rubbed her eyes – ‘and a bit beaten.’
‘Where do you think you might like to go?’
‘Where I’d like to go is nowhere, I want to stay right here, but where I will go, I have absolutely no idea.’ The thought of having to search felt more than a little overwhelming.
‘The good news is Norm and I can help you pack up. Bradley and Andrew, too, they’ll pitch in.’
‘Thank you.’
‘And we’ve got a spare room in New Cross so you can always come and stay with us.’
‘Glen, that is a very kind offer.’ Lilly wiped her nose and face on a sheet of kitchen roll. ‘But honestly? I couldn’t live with you. You’d drive me crazy! I’d kill you!’
‘With an axe?’ her friend asked as she went to fetch the mugs to make tea.
‘More than likely.’ She smiled at her. ‘More than bloody likely.’
1973 – aged 18
The bus pulled up and Lilly jumped off the back, staring at the dirty London brick exterior of the hospital where fumes and grime had licked the surface for centuries. Not half an hour since, she’d left her dad at the kitchen table with The Teddy Bears’ ‘To Know Him Is to Love Him’playing loudly.
‘This is such a beautiful song, Lilly! A classic!’ He had tapped his fingers in time to the music.
‘’Tis,’ she’d managed, strangling the sob in her throat. Her dad was right, the words and melody were so very beautiful.
