‘It’s Portland. Mr A. Portland.’
It took her a moment.
A second or two while the name that sounded familiar travelled from his mouth to her ear and registered in her brain. He spoke casually, as if caught up in the excitement, clearly forgetting just what coming clean would detonate. The smile slipped from her face, as an expression of something a lot like horror rose on his.
Who are they?
Ah, yes, sorry.She pictured Joshua as he explained.Mr A. Portland and Mr P. Montague, the developers who are taking over the block ...
‘I ... I need to—’ The room suddenly seemed airless as Lilly staggered back towards the door.
‘Lilly!’ He followed her as she turned and walked as quickly as she was able towards the exit, knowing there would be no glass of bubbly for them tonight or any other night, pausing only long enough to swallow and take a breath, fearing she might vomit.
Alfie caught her up and reached for the top of her arm. She pulled free.
‘Don’t you dare touch me!’
He raised his palms, suggesting he came in peace, which she knew was a lie, the whole thing a lie, pretend.God, I’m such an idiot!
‘I’m sorry!’
‘Don’t insult me withsorry.Don’t you dare!’ She pointed her ringed finger at him, her hand shaking, her whole body, in fact, trembling with a potent combination of sorrow and rage! Knowing if she had less self-control, she might well have been tempted to use her ring as a knuckleduster. It took her a while to visually locate the exit, but once she’d got her bearings she marched towards it.
‘Lilly!’ he called as he followed her. ‘Please, just slow down and talk to me.’
Ignoring him, she carried on walking until she found herself outside, the cool air offering some relief. She took deep breaths and turned her head skyward, eyes closed. Trying to focus on her breathing, anything other than the fact that, not for the first time in her life, she had been duped, taken in. Her anger was directed equally at him, Alfie the great pretender, and at herself for thinking for a moment that he might have been interested in a quirky old soul like her.
The key to surviving is to get straight back up and keep going; otherwise life stops, Bob! It just stops ...
‘I wanted to tell you. I was going to tell you tonight.’
‘Of course you were! I don’t want to hear it.’ She looked directly at him now. He was good, she’d give him that, quite convincing, even now, his downcast mouth, eyes misting. He was very good. ‘Leave me alone.’
‘I won’t leave you alone. We need to talk, need to—’
‘I don’tneedto do anything where you’re concerned. Just piss off!’
Without any thought of continuing the evening and not a morsel of food in her stomach, she looked towards the river, then the landmark where she stood, in front of the mighty chimneys of Battersea. With her eyes closed, she took a deep breath. All she had to do was follow the winding silver ribbon, all the way home. Her home that this man and his associates wanted to pull down and replace with something new and shiny. Erasing her history, erasing her.
Now at a brisk pace, no more of the leisurely amble that had taken her there, Lilly began to walk, irritated and uncomfortable at the fact that Alfie walked by her side.
‘I’ll walk you home.’
‘I neither want nor need you to walk me home. These aremystreets, remember? Not that I need to remind you of that. Youalready know all about me.’ This thought was enough to enrage her further. ‘There’s me giving you snippets about my life, telling you about my dad, my childhood, opening up ... What kind of kick did you get from it? And what a horrible, horrible thing to do to someone, to do to me!’ Her voice broke now, and she had to slow her pace a little; rushing was making her feel a little dizzy.
‘It’s not like that.’
‘I don’t want to hear it!’ She turned to him briefly as she shouted, ‘You and your lackey, Joshua Vaughan, you must have both been having such a giggle! I can imagine it,I’ve got the silly old fool on a hook!Like one of those fish you eat once a month! Just a daft single woman who responded to a bit of flattery! I’m so mad at myself!’ She clenched her fists.
‘I’ll admit I came to the river because Joshy said you might be there.’Joshy ... Joshy ...It was a nickname that smacked of affection and familiarity, both of which made her want to scream! Was his supposed interest in Clodagh just another ruse to smooth their plans? ‘I thought I might be able to talk to you, help you see sense.’
‘Help mesee sense?’ She felt the tension in her jaw. ‘That, Mr Portland, is one of those phrases. Suggesting I cannot think straight or form an opinion without the guidance of someone like you, as if I have not fully grasped the situation and need someone, a man, to explain it to me!’
‘That’s not what I—’ He looked down.
‘I think you’ll find that if that was all it took, good oldJoshywould have come back to you some weeks ago now with a positive report and a contract signed and sealed, as he hasexplainedit all to me several times over!’
‘That’s not what I—’
