The door to Bottomless opened and released a roar of noise.
Maeda took my hand. “Let’s not fight.” She took a deep breath, “I think I want pancakes today.”
It was a plea for normalcy.
I squeezed her hand back and said, “Yeah, I think I want an omelette.”
As we took our seats, I was trying not to think about how different our various wants were.
Chapter Thirteen
Maeda
My attachment to Nikki had been starting to concern me.
I spent so long wondering if her confession of love all those years ago had been genuine or just the moment taking over. But now, there was no denying it. This was more than just fake dating.
We sat down in Bottomless and had brunch. It felt like a real date. Not for show, just us. We split an appetizer, and she let me have the rest of her country potatoes. Then, we went down by the gazebo and laid on a picnic blanket under the shade of a tree. I had a notebook to work on some scene ideas for my novel, andNikki had a word search book. We stayed there, cuddled next to each other, each working in our little booklets, for nearly an hour.
Then, it was time to go to work.
The bowling league continued its matchplay towards the finals. Near the end of my shift, Tristan arrived to take Dolly for the weekend.
“Maeda, can I talk to you. Outside?”
I looked over at Nikki, and she nodded.
“What, you need your girlfriend’s permission to go ten feet away?” He scoffed as we exited Lucky Lanes.
“No, I need to let my boss know that I am walking away during my shift,” I argued. Then I focused on buckling up Dolly. “Have a good time, sweetheart. I love you.”
“I love you too, Mama,” she said. Her voice small and tired, her eyes were heavy lidded. She would be asleep before Tristan turned off the main road.
“Don’t you hear how fucked up that is? It’s like she’s manipulating you,” Tristan said.
“She’s not,” I laughed.
Tristan wasn’t laughing. “It’s a power dynamic thing. I learned about it in these workplace sexual harassment trainings we are required to do. She’s using her position of being your boss over you.” He folded his arms. “I don’t like it.”
“Well, she’s not doing that, and she wouldn’t. Plus, it’s none of your business. If you don’t like it, then it’s not your place to say anything.” I laughed again. “Sexual harassment in the workplace, how are things with Dom going?”
“She’s just a friend,” he pleaded. “I can have her move back out no issue.”
My stomach was in knots. “How could you still be asking me that? You haven’t changed. You’re doing the same thing to Dom that you did to me.”
Tristan brushed his hands through his hair. “I have changed. I would never want to hurt you. You’ve been gone, and I was lonely.”
“You were lonely even when I was living there. That’s why you slept with your co-worker.”
“You keep shutting me out, but we are a family. You, me, and Dolly.”
I sighed. “We are co-parents. We are not romantic partners or anything more than two adults raising and cheering on our daughter. Because of that, we will always be in each other’s lives.” I thought about Nikki and how she was waiting for some kind of assurance from me. How could I give her that while I was in a constant defensive mode, keeping Tristan at bay? “I cannot keep having this conversation. You need to accept that you and I are never going to be a couple again. We are co-parents, our relationship begins and ends with Dolly. I don’t want to hear about Dom, and you don’t need to have opinions about Nikki.” Then, I gave him a hug. “I care about you because you are the father of my child. You are a great dad, but we are not compatible as a couple. And, that’s okay.”
When I pulled back, I saw he had tears in his eyes.
“I think I’ll always love you, Maeda,” he said, but I could sense his acceptance of the situation. I held back what I wanted to say,it was never about love between us, just lust and responsibilities and expectations. If he thought what we had was love, then he didn’t know much. The best day between he and I was nothing compared to Nikki.
He had gotten in his car and drove away, Dolly was already asleep.
