But I had this rock in my stomach about it. Was it a premonition? Was it fear? I didn’t know if I’d rather get in the finals and lose or just be done and wash my hands of it.
Once my shower was over and I was in my sweats, I decided to just open the e-mail. It couldn’t hurt, right?
Thank you for your submission in this year’s Film Festival. We had a record number of Short Films submitted,which is very exciting for the future of cinema! Unfortunately, we can’t promote every entry to the finalist level.
We regret to inform you that your project…
I closed the email and sent a text to the group chat for the actors and crew.
E:Sorry guys, we didn’t place.
I went to call Connie and tell her the news, but she was already calling me.
“Hey,” I said, already feeling lighter now that the pressure was off.
“I placed! We made it to the finals!” Connie was ecstatic, and I was so excited for her and Lilli. I wish I had been able to see their initial performance.
“Congrats, Stardust!” I cheered into the phone. I realized I’d started pacing my room, smiling like an idiot on the phone with the most amazing person I’d ever met. Something in my heart clenched—hope? Fear?
“I’ll talk to you later. We’re performing tomorrow, and I want to get rest,” she said. She sounded just as hyped up as before as we said good night, and I started to doze off, writing a screenplay in my head.
A love story.
In the morning, I wasn’t sure if it’d be better if I gave Connie space to prepare for her performance or to encourage her, so I sent her a simple good morning text, hoping her response would help indicate how to proceed. She hadn’t replied until lunch time, asking me if I had time to meet up between rehearsal and sound check.
“I’m not sure why, but I feel less nervous for this than I did for the first round,” Connie said as she dipped her grilledcheese into tomato soup. “I keep thinking that I should prepare for the nerves, but they just don’t come.”
“Maybe it’s because you’ve already proven yourself.” We sat next to each other on a booth seat because the chairs that were supposed to be on the other side were taken by another table. They were loud, singing random lines from musical theatre, but maybe Connie saw it as a welcome distraction. Part of me wanted to write it into a script, a comedy with a traveling theatre troupe where each actor performs songs from different shows to create one story.
“I haven’t felt this good in a while,” Connie said quietly. “I don’t know. It sounds weird, but… even with my low point this week, I feel like everything is going to be okay. Like, this week has been amazing. Lilli and I were talking about this earlier. Being here, all these new professional connections… and personal ones too.” She looked at me, so close, her eyes smokey and her lips so soft. I wanted to kiss her.
“I’m really glad I met you, Constance,” I took her hand, “and I am so happy you’re here.”
I saw and felt the impact of my words as Connie let out a little breath of air yet seemed to inflate. Before I could make my move, she leaned into me, her lips on mine. My entire body was buzzing as she released me just as quickly.
A real whiplash. Connie was blushing, and she looked almost apologetic. Bashful, not regretful.
I wrapped a hand around the back of her neck and pulled her in. I kept the kiss gentle and sweet and chaste, although my mind was running a million miles beyond purity.
I was so into this girl. She was my person.
I could feel it.
26 - Connie - Then
Finals were going to be performed on a main stage. Unlike a makeshift one in a hotel conference hall, the final performances were held in the community college theatre.
With an audience.
And lighting.
At sound check, we mocked through our set, a simple two song selection, and the lighting designer set the cues for our lights. When they asked if we wanted anything specific, we explained that the first song was a dance song and to have fun with it. The second was somber, and we wanted to evoke pondering and reflection with it.
I was still giddy that Eric and I had kissed just an hour before. I wanted to have lunch with him because he calmed me, and I knew Lilli had plans with Chris. I didn’t want to be alone before the sound check.
Plus, I needed to eat, and eating always felt like a social activity. Lilli seemed buzzing too when she arrived to sound check just in time for our turn. We went to the green room and waited as the audience started coming in.
“Lilli!” I said the same time she cried out “Connie!”
