“That’s very specific. Sounds like you’re speaking from experience.” Instinctively, my grip around Liv tightens.
“I had an ex who seemed like the real deal until I found out he also had a whole life with another woman. According to him, I was difficult to be with, worked too much, and asked too many questions—but how could I not when he didn’t come home some nights?”
“What a dick.”
“I know, right?” Liv shakes her head in disbelief. “He said I couldn’t just let loose and have fun. That I always had to be out there proving myself and working harder than everyone else. I mean, Viv and I hadjuststarted our business—what was I supposed to do? Anyway, I haven’t really successfully dated since.”
“His loss,” I murmur in her ear.
She snuggles into me, pressing her body deeper into the blanket, releasing a yawn. “He was right, though. I really didn’t ever let loose and have fun. It’s hard for me to relax, and besides work and Viv, I don’t really have many friends.”
“You seem pretty relaxed here, though.”
She hums, a sound deep in her throat.
“I am.”
There’s a thoughtful tone to the way she says that.
It’s silent except for the gentle lapping of the water against the shoreline and the occasional hoot of an owl in the trees. The breeze rustles Liv’s hair; a stray strand tickles my cheek.
“There’s something about this lake that just feels… I don’t know. I can’t explain it,” Liv says.
Hope flares in my chest. “Say it with me now, Trip: lake life is better than city life.” In the moonlight, I can see her eyes roll as she releases a breathy chuckle. I wait with bated breath, wondering if she’ll repeat it. If Josh was right.
“I love the city. It’s my home.”
That brief spark of hope vanishes. I’ve been here before, on the edge of goodbye. I know exactly what’s behind that door, and I’m not willing to open it again.
“It’s okay to be wrong.”
And that earns me another elbow jab to the stomach and a chuckle from the beautiful blonde wrapped in my arms.
The conversation slows to a stop, the steady, rhythmic breathing of sleep having pulled Liv under. I watch the stars and listen to the owls, enjoying the feel of her snuggled between my arms until my own eyes become heavy. I consider waking her up and walking her home—I didn’t ask her to sleep over—but decide against it. Gently untangling myself from her, I scoop her up, blanket and all, and walk her into the house and up the stairs to my bed.
She sighs into the pillow and rolls onto her side. I head back downstairs, hating that she’s up there in my bed and my arms aren’t around her the way they feel like they should be.
Thirty-Nine
WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS?
Liv
Iflip onto my back, bleary-eyed, scanning the dark room. I’m in a bed that isn’t mine. I take a moment to gather my bearings.
This is Luke’s room.
I sit up and look to my side.
Empty.
Luke must be asleep on the couch.
I roll my eyes. Such a gentleman.Smooth, Liv. You fell asleep and now you’re alone.
I lie back down and look up at the ceiling. The heady scent of butterscotch and oak surrounds me, and I sigh into its comfort.I can’t believe I fell asleep.I should be having incredible sex right now!
Frustration wells inside me. I can’t relax. My mouth feels dry from the bottles of wine we shared, and the jean shorts I’m wearing are digging into my sides.
