Reaching the top floor, I slip the key into the deadbolt. “Sunny! Here, kitty, kitty.” The door swings shut behind me, the clink of the lock echoing throughout the small space.
My orange tabby wanders in and weaves between my ankles, purring loudly. “Now here’s a man,” I say, scooping him up and kissing his head, “who will always love me.” Sunny wiggles from my hands, trots to his empty food dish and back again, meowing incessantly. “Just as long as I feed him.”
I sift through the mail, looking for a letter that never comes. Tossing most of it into the garbage, my eyes stall on the business card stuck to the side of the fridge amid the small mural of my life: a couple of pictures of Gram, Pop, and me, a picture of Viv and me after graduation, and a picture of Sunny when he was a kitten. Chewing the side of my lip, I slide open the junk drawer, digging around for the one photograph I own that never made it onto the fridge.
I find it—a picture of my mom and me when I was three. I don’t remember this moment, but in the picture, she’s got me snug on her hip, arms around me, our heads tilted toward one another. We look so happy. I close my eyes as a memory crashes in—a tidal wave threatening to drown me.
“Gram?”
“Hm?”
“Where’s Mommy?”
Pop places his newspaper on the kitchen table, glancing at Gram, who has stopped flipping pancakes but hasn’t turned to face me yet. I push the scrambled eggs around on my plate, peeking up at Gram, waiting for her to answer.
Gram peers over her shoulder. “She left.” Her voice sounds funny.
I know she left. She left a whole week ago and should be back by now.
“When is she coming back?”
Gram’s shoulders curl in, saying nothing. After a moment, she inhales deeply and straightens her spine, turning to face me and Pop at the table. “I don’t know if she is.”
My face scrunches, brows knit in confusion. “What about me?”
“You’ll stay here with us.”
“How come I couldn’t go with her?”
Pop pulls his glasses off, placing them on the table. Rubbing his eyes, he shakes his head. I look at him, thinking he’s going to answer me, but it’s Gram who answers instead.
“Because that’s no life for a child. Now eat your eggs before they get cold.”
I scoff, shoving the picture back into the drawer and slamming it shut.Why do I do this to myself?Gripping the edge of the counter, I take a few deep breaths.
Sunny rubs his body against my leg, tail curling around my calf. I hoist him up and bury my face in his fur. The tension drains out of me as the steady rhythm of his purring reminds me I’m notreallyalone. I have Sunny.
I kiss his head and look up at the business card again, considering it. A while back, Viv gave me the information for a privateinvestigator that her family knew well.Just in case you ever decide to find her,she had said.
And what if I find her? Then what happens? Are we just supposed to… move on? What if she doesn’t want to be found?I stare at the card, as if willing it to make the decision for me.I suppose I’ll never know if I don’t try. Isn’t that what Pop always says?
Ugh.I bury my face in Sunny’s fur.Screw it.
Feeling bold, I fire off a quick email to the PI. I pause, thumb hovering over the screen.There’s no turning back after this.Closing my eyes, and inhaling a fortifying breath, I open them and click send. The whoosh of the email carries my heart with it, and a tiny spark of hope ignites in my soul.
Two
ARE THESE OYSTER CRACKERS?
Liv
“If nothing else,” Viv says through the phone, “even if he’s dumb as rocks, there’s nothing wrong with a one-night stand.”
I’m not exactly sure how the conversation ended up going in this direction.
“For goodness’ sake, Vivian,” I say, exasperated.
“A woman’s got needs, Liv.” It’s frustrating because it’s true.
