You’re not worth that.
I can’t let Connor get into trouble over me; it would ruin his life. He’d lose his job and possibly the house. He’d lose everything.
But how can I go back to Rhys after everything that’s happened? After seeing how love is supposed to be?
“I…” I know what I have to do, but agreeing to a lifetime of misery is difficult. “Please don’t do this.”
“I don’t have all day, Mat,” Rhys says, clearly frustrated that I’m not jumping at his offer. “Make your choice. Now.”
“Okay,” I say with a defeated sigh. Tears fill my eyes thinking about my future as I return to my past.
“Say that again?” Rhys asks, even though I’m pretty sure he heard me the first time.
“I said ‘Okay’. I’ll come back. But I need some time first.”
“Time? What the hell do you need time for? Tell the guy to fuck off, then get your arse back to my house!”
Rhys is shouting now, signalling my tears to fall.
“We’ve gone on a trip.” I sniffle and wipe my nose on the back of my hand. “I don’t have my car, and I can’t just up and leave…”
“For fuck’s sake, Matilda, why do you have to make everything so fucking difficult?”
“I’m sorry,” I say through my tears.
“Be here tomorrow morning. If you’re not here by lunchtime, I’m going to the police.” With that, Rhys hangs up as if he hasn’t just ruined my life with one phone call.
My tears start to fall freely as I try to process what Rhys has done. I’ve just started to feel like I could be comfortable, even happy, with Connor, and now it’s all being ripped away from me.
You don’t deserve happiness. Every time you come close, you ruin it because you don’t deserve it. But Connor does. He deserves better.
“Matilda?” A man’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts, and I turn towards the sound, using my sleeve to wipe my face. “Your spoon is ready, cariad.”
I stare at him blankly for several awkward seconds before I recognise him and remember what I was doing before my life was shattered.
“Oh,” I say eventually and stride towards him, feigning confidence.
“Take a look.” The old shopkeeper holds out the love spoon for me to inspect, and I turn it over in my hands. On the back of the heart-shaped bowl of the spoon is my name and Connor’s. I trace the letters with my thumb as a fresh tear escapes.
“What do you think?” he asks after a moment.
“It’s perfect.”
Or rather itwouldhave been perfect. The perfect reminder of our first trip together, where our relationship officially began. Now all it’s good for is reminding me of what might have been.
“And what about you? Are you alright?” he asks me cautiously, clearly uncomfortable at having to deal with a crying woman.
“I’m fine.” I shake my head and try to smile, which seems to appease him.
He takes my money for the spoon and puts it into a paper bag for me. As I’m about to leave, he calls me back.
“You know, I always find a walk on the pier clears the head. You should give it a try while the rain has eased off.”
Yeah, and walk right off the end of it.
Chapter 34
Worthless
