“What, no snarky names for me today? Is something wrong?”She’s joking but has still managed to suss me out.
“No, nothing wrong. Not with me anyway…”
“Is it Tilly?” The worry in Ivy’s voice is evident. “Oh. My. God. Connor, what did you do?”
“Nothing! Everything’s fine, Tilly’s fine… at least, physically she’s fine…”
“Connor, if you say ‘fine’ one more time, I swear…”
There’s the fiery sister I need.
“Okay, look. I need to tell you something about Tilly, but you have to promise not to let on that you know. It’s important.”
There’s a pause. Ivy’s probably taking a breath and cursing me.
“I promise.”
“Did you cross your heart?” I ask, letting her know I’m serious.
“Of course! What’s going on?”
So I tell her. About our confrontation with Rhys, the shopping trip, Tilly’s panic attack, everything.
“She doesn’t want anyone to know about it, but I’m so fucking worried about her. I’m completely out of my depth, Ivy, I don’t know how to help her. The first night she stayed here, I heard her crying in your room, and I googled what to do. I asked a fucking search engine…”
“Are you coming up for air at any point?” Ivy asks drily.
“Help me, Ivy.”
“Okay, first of all, cut yourself some slack. The fact that you’re worrying about getting it right shows how much you care, so you’re halfway there.”
I pick at a loose thread on my T-shirt while I listen, desperate for any advice that could help me help Tilly.
“I know Tilly,” she continues. “These issues she has with herself are deep-rooted. There’s no easy fix, and healing isn’t linear. It’s going to be rough for you both, but you’re going to gether through it. Because what Tilly needs right now happens to be something you have in bucketloads.”
“Fancy cheese?” I snort.
“Love, you knob.”
My chest constricts at the word. “I don’t know if that’s going to be enough…”
“Of course it is! Tilly’s spent her entire life feeling inferior, being told she’s not good enough, either by Rhys or her own head. What she needs now, more than ever, is someone showing her the truth, creating a safe space, for her to heal. There’s no one I trust more to do that than you, Connor.”
“Thanks, Ivy.”
“Just love her, in whatever capacity you can.”
Love her. I can do that. I’ve been doing it silently for years.
“And Connor?” Ivy adds. “I know she’s the love of your life and everything, but she’s my best friend too. So don’t fuck it up.”
Chapter 12
You have yourself a deal
“What do you mean you’re not coming back?”
I stare at my best friend through my phone screen in total disbelief. My marriage has just ended, and now I’m losing Ivy too. I shuffle further onto the bed and tuck my legs underneath me.
