“It’s not your fault,” he says with such confidence I almost believe him. Almost. “He fucked up, not you. He ruined this, not you. You shouldn’t give him another thought.”
“That’s easier said than done. We’ve been together for seven years. We’re married,” I reason, making the muscle in Connor’s jaw twitch.
“For now. You’re married for now.” He sets his coffee cup on the counter and disappears in the direction of the garage.
Assuming he’s just going for more boxes, ready to pack the rest of my belongings, I take a minute to calm myself and enjoy my coffee. What I do not expect is Connor walking back into the kitchen with two hammers and a mischievous look on his face. He takes my mug and puts it next to his own and hands me a hammer.
Putting his hand on the small of my back, he leads me to the kitchen table and asks, “Do you want the first hit?”
Yes, I abso-fucking-lutely do.
A sly grin creeps across my face as I take the hammer from Connor, step forward and swing.
Chapter 5
A few silly mistakes
Beating the shit out of that battered old table is highly therapeutic. Connor and I hammer it at the beginning but end up using our bare hands to rip it to pieces, scattering splinters everywhere and laughing the entire time. That is, until Rhys walks in.
“What the hell did you do to my table?” he yells, looking from me to Connor. “And who the fuck are you?”
Oh, how the tables have turned.
“Rhys, I didn’t realise you’d be home. I was just grabbing some stuff while you were out.” I don’t look at him as I speak. I can’t. An ache forms in my chest at the prospect of having a confrontation. “I’ll come back another time. Come on, Connor.”
I move to walk out of the kitchen, but Rhys steps into my path.
“I went into work, but they sent me home because I was too distracted. You can’t be trusted to spot someone on the weights if you’re distracted.”
“Oh.” I still don’t look at him but make another attempt to side-step him.
“I’m distracted because of this mess between us!” He moves to block me again and holds me by the shoulders. I can feel Connor move to stand behind me, but he doesn’t say anything, and Rhys doesn’t acknowledge him. His eyes are focused solely on me. “When are you coming home so we can move on?”
“I can’t forgive you for what you did, Rhys.” He moves his head to try to make eye contact, so I end up closing mine tight. Childish? Yes, but effective.
“Will you stop exaggerating, Mat?” he huffs and grips onto my shoulders a bit tighter. “Stop being so fucking dramatic and come back home!”
“You’re hurting me, let go.”
My words don’t come out as forcefully as I intended. The ball of anxiety in my chest begins to take over and my head goes fuzzy, like it’s filled with cotton wool.
“She said ‘let go’,” I hear Connor say from behind me. He’s calm and quiet, but even I can hear the threat in his voice through the buzzing in my head.
Rhys ignores him. “Matilda, you’re being so stupid! Are you honestly going to throw everything away overthis?”
I struggle to catch my breath. The room spins. Rhys’s fingers bite into my skin, but I barely feel it.
You’re ruining your one chance at a marriage. No one else would want you.
“Tilly, are you okay?”
I barely hear Connor when he speaks to me.
“Matilda, if you come back now, we’ll pretend none of this ever happened, I’ll even forgive you for wrecking the table…”
You don’t deserve him. You don’t deserve anyone.
My chest tightens. My lungs fail. Everything is black.
