He waggled his brows at me. If he weren’t already concussed, I’d be tempted to whack him in the head.
The pressure was back on. I put my hands behind my back, wondering if I was actually going to go through this.
“I need to talk to Austin,” I blurted out. “Alone. If that’s okay.”
“It is,” Matthew said. “I’ll go tuck Nick in your bed.”
“I need to shower before I get in bed.”
My head was spinning with the thought of them naked in my shower together. “Um. There are fresh towels in the cabinet inthe bathroom. There’s also two shower bonnets in there if either of you want one. Have at it, but donotuse my expensive soaps. Use the regular body wash.”
“Yes, ma’am. Doctor, I’m afraid I’ll fall without your guidance.”
Matthew shook his head with a snort as he stood up, taking Nick with him. I pressed my lips together as they disappeared down the hall out of sight, but I heard Nick’s laugh and Matthew’s slightly annoyed but slightly aroused tone.
Austin’s cheeks reddened. He looked so lost.
“Okay,” I sighed. “Here we go.”
I sat down next to him on the couch and turned to face him. With a deep breath, I rolled my shoulders back and looked him in the eyes.
“I’ve liked you for a really, really long time,” I confessed. “For years. I think since high school, maybe even since junior high. You’ve always been my best friend’s hot older brother who never looked at me twice. And I don’t know why, but I never grew out of it. I’ve flirted with you so many times. I’ve done everything I could to get your attention. And up until quite recently, I never really wanted someone else as much as I’ve wanted you. I started going on dates thinking I’d stop wanting you if I found the right person . . . and they were all terrible. Then I met Nick and . . . thingsdidchange. But instead of having one person to want, I had two. Then Matthew asked me out, and I realized I now have three equally wonderful people that I want. But everything is so new with them and I didn’t want you to feel obligated to want me now that you know the truth. So that’s why I said we should be just friends this morning, even though it was a lie. I don’t want to just be your friend, Austin.”
“I don’t want to just be your friend,” he whispered. He inched closer, his gaze softening, his walls coming down. Sometimes this man was so hard to read, but right now, I could seeeverything. The vulnerability, the need, the sadness. If I could find a Band-Aid to put over all the little cuts on his heart from the last few years, I would. “I want you, Evie. It’s not an obligation. You’re one of the best people I’ve had the privilege of knowing, and I love everything about you. But . . . I’m broken. I’m so broken right now, I barely recognize myself at times. I’m scared of letting you in because why would you want me? Why would anyone want me like this? I don’t even want myself.”
Tears turned his eyes glassy, and he closed them, looking away. I gently reached up, sliding my fingers through his beard, cupping his jaw. I slid my hand to the back of his neck, my breath hitching.
“I love Dallas and Avery,” I said. “I know you do too. June, Madi, Mateo, and Levi are our family, right?”
He nodded, his eyes still shut.
“All of us love you. But outside of whatever romance we might take a chance on—first, you are my friend. I’ve watched you constantly self-destruct and shove other people away. Everyone wants to help you, but you won’t let us. You have to start letting us. Letmein, Austin.”
His throat worked as he swallowed hard. “It’s hard to. I’m not perfect.”
“I know that,” I snorted. “Clearly. But neither am I.”
His eyes finally opened. I could see every shade of brown there, his long lashes dark and wet from tears. “I haven’t dated anyone in years. I . . . I haven’t ever dated more than one person. I’ve had a crush on Matthew for a while and no fucking idea what to do about it.”
“And Nick?” I asked.
He groaned, but it gave me a glimmer of hope. “I can beat him up for you?”
I laughed and shook my head at his offer. “He literally fell off a roof, I don’t think he’s gonna be very threatening for a bit.”
Austin winced. “I feel awful.”
“I do too,” I said. “But mostly just about the way I treated you.”
“It’s okay,” he said softly. “I mean, Mateo may disagree. I think he was ready to tie me down to my bed and leave me.”
“He’s a good friend,” I said.
“He is. I don’t know what I would do without him or Levi.” His shoulders finally relaxed, and his gaze dropped to my lips.
Was he going to kiss me? God, I wanted him too. I’d wondered what it would be like for years.
“Will you go out with me?” he whispered.
