Not one of us, not two of us.
Me, Madi,andJune.
The drive home passed by in a blur. I pulled into my driveway and sat back, trying to hold it together.
I probably should have gone back to my shop, but I couldn’t work like this. I was too distraught.
I hopped out and sniffled as I went to my little library in my front yard, rummaging through the books. It was out of habit. Every time I got home, I liked to see what had been taken and what had been left.
“Son of a bitch,” I whispered.
Ms. Carlson had struck me while I was gone. I pulled three bibles out of the box and considered chucking them through her window, but instead took them inside. I kicked off my shoes, tossed them in the trash, and went straight to my bed.
I crawled in and rolled over on my stomach, pressing my face against the sheets andfuck.
My sheets smelled like them.
“Dammit,” I whispered.
I’d give Madi time to think. I’d give June time to cool down. And I’d give myself time to be tortured over how fucking close we were to a real chance at this.
But then, I’d be there for both of them. I’d show June that even when she was at her lowest, she could still be loved. And I’d prove to Madi that Whynot was right where she belonged.
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
June
There wasn’t another person in the world that could hate me as much as I hated myself right now.
I hadn’t slept all night. After I’d left Madi and Dallas, I’d been swallowed whole by self-loathing. They didn’t deserve the way I spoke to either one of them and I hadn’t meant half of what I said, but pushing them away was the only thing I knew.
I didn’t know how to give us the chance.
I pressed my forehead to the counter, squeezing my eyes shut. I’d made myself go through the motions this morning. Got up, made coffee, got dressed. I felt like a robot, cold and unfeeling.
Except I wasn’t unfeeling at all. Ifelttoo much.
My phone started to ring and I sighed, answering without looking. “Hello?”
“You are such abitch.”
I immediately sat up as my mother’s voice spewed venom through the speaker. What the hell had I done this time?
“I tried picking Laura up from school and they wouldn’t let me. Do you know how humiliating that is?”
“What—why were you trying to pick her up?” I asked, panic setting in.
“I wanted to take her for the day considering you and your brother never let me see her.”
Something fragile snapped. All of the patience I constantly fought to have with her, the way I tried to be the better person.
I didn’t have it in me this time.
“I wonder why that is,” I snapped. “I wonder why. Do you ever think about why or are you so caught up in your fucking fictional version of reality that you can’t seeyou are the fucking reasonwe don’t want you around her?”
She sounded like a banshee. “Youare the reason. Because you hate me so much even though I’ve done everything for you. You’re keeping me from my granddaughter.Mygranddaughter. You can’t keep me from her, I won’t accept this.”
“She’s not even my daughter,” I snarled. “She’s my niece. Myniece.Take this up with Ethan?—”
