“No.” Avery reached over and squeezed my hand. “Nothing about what you’re feeling is wrong. You worked so hard to get to where you’re at.”
“I’ve given up so much,” I whispered. “I chose a company over making friends and finding people who cared about me. That’s my own fault, of course. But being here has healedsomething inside me. Talking to all of you every day, laughing and joking and hearing about your lives—I’ve felt like I’m a part of something. It’s been such a reminder that over the years, I’ve constantly made a choice to focus on my career, but look where it got me.”
“I mean, it did get youhere.” Her smile softened. “You’re not only talented, but you’re away from a relationship that wasn’t good for you. And believe me, I know exactly how that feels. I had a relationship that hurt me, and when Mateo, Levi, and I started seeing each other—I was so damn scared. But it is true, what they say. When you know, you know.”
But the question was—did I know?
“You still have time,” Avery said. “You can take that interview. At least see what they have to say. And focus on enjoying your time. You don’t have to rush to any sort of conclusion.”
I felt myself relax, even though the pressure was still there. The fissure in my heart was still there. “Plus, I need to get my animation wrapped up.”
“I can’t wait to see it,” she said. “Oh, speaking of, I’ve ironed out the details for homecoming. We got a big projector screen from a friend, and I was thinking we could either show it before the football game at homecomingorafter. I think before is the way to go, though—once the game ends, it becomes chaotic.”
“Oh god,” I laughed. “I’m not used to having people see my work in front of me.”
“It’ll be great. Plus, Dallas and June can hold your hands.”
Now, I really smiled.
Avery was right.
“Thank you,” I said. “I feel a little better. Still scared and not exactly sure what I’m doing, but . . . better.”
“Good.” She stood up and stretched a little, rolling her shoulders back. “Can I just say one thing though that’scompletelybiased?”
“Of course.”
“It’s really really biased.”
“Go on. I’m ready.”
“Well, Whynot is a small town. It’s quiet. It’s quaint. But I love it here. There’s so much to love. It’s home. And well, my biased opinion is this: Dallas and June have always lived here. This place has always been their home. But I’ve never seen them want to share that home with someone more than they clearly do with you. Dallas and June having feelings is something new, too. But . . . Well, I think you should know that even if you leave, they’ll always want you. Even if you’re not in their lives and they stay together, they’ll always think about you. They’ll always miss you.” She winced. “Sorry, that was more than a single biased opinion.”
“It’s okay.” I drew in a sharp breath. “Whatever happens, more than anything, I hope they continue their relationship. I’m not trying to be a matchmaker, but . . . They love each other. I know they do. But June . . .”
“She’s scared of love.” Avery’s expression grew very serious. “Her mother is a bitch. And I’m not just saying that. But I’ve watched June be cut down again and again and that kind of hurt bruises your heart. June is one of the best people in my life, but I know she struggles. She’s never been in a serious relationship because of those struggles, and instead of letting those who care for her help her work through those burdens, she holds them inside. She’s scared of love, but she deserves it. She deserves it so much. But, I’m not going to lie. I think you will have to push through to her. YouandDallas, if that’s what you decide on.”
I ran my hands over my legs, considering her words. “I haven’t met her mom, but she’s told me a couple things here and there.”
“If you ever do meet her, and I think you will, just know that she’s homophobic and a narcissist.”
“Fuck. And I thought my parents were bad.”
Avery snorted. “She makes my mom look like a saint. Evie and I have a secret code for when she comes around. She hates us both because we love June.” Her expression pinched with a scowl. “If she meets you, she’ll hate you too. I’m sorry. But we all hate her just as much, so you could join in our opposition.”
“I’ll happily join.” Finally, I truly took a deep breath. “I think . . . I think I should talk to June and Dallas soon. Shouldn’t I?”
Avery thought about it for a moment. “I mean, I vote yes. Even if only to talk through how you’re feeling. But I know that takes a lot of vulnerability.”
“It does. But I just had some practice.” I rubbed my chest, thinking about it. “I feel lost.”
“You’ll find your way. I know you will. And if you need anything else, just let me know.”
“Thank you.” I let out a soft hum and then stood up, reaching for my phone and purse. “I’m going to take a walk. Clear my head.”
“Okay. Call me if you need me.”
“I will.”
