But it was looking like I’d paint for a few hours and forget everything in the worldexceptthe hot firefighter and hot hockey player.
Or ex-hockey player, if what Evie said was true.
Was that why he was back in Whynot? I remembered the last time Levi visited a few years ago, for his father’s funeral. The two were never close, but he’d still flown down, and I remembered it because it was right before I left for the University of Texas. He hadn’t even seen me, but I’d seen him.
I’d never really known his dad. I knew he was a hard-ass. I knew they didn’t get along, and also knew my dad and brothers didn’t like him much. More than once, Austin had argued with Mr. Rayburn. And truly, Austin was one of the worst people in the world to argue with. That son of a gun was worse than me when he was pissed.
The only other thing I really knew about Levi’s family was that his mom lived in Minnesota, which was why he’d gone back and forth as a kid. Trapped in this hellish heat during the summer with his dad, he stayed at our house more often than not.
It all felt like so long ago. A different time. I’d felt so invincible back then. It’d been a lot easier when my dad was alive. He always made me feel like I could conquer anything in my life because he’d conquered everything in his.
Except for the heart attack.
I paused my painting and straightened my spine, uncurling myself so I didn’t turn into a shrimp. Tears pricked my eyes. I was alone, so I didn’t hold them back.
The rest of the town and my family needed to know I was reliable. Still invincible.
But here in this studio, surrounded by art that was just for me—full of all my sadness and happiness and desires—I could cry. My vision blurred as I loaded the paintbrush again and continued working.
There were no words to describe the loss a community felt when someone so bright left it. The thing about brightness like that was that so often, it made you unable to see other things.
As an adult, I knew now that my dad had faked a lot of his perfection. My brothers and I had discovered the hard way that a lot of the finances were tangled between the businesses he owned. That he was behind on taxes. That the house we grew up in was on a loan that should have been paid off a long time ago. The truck he’d bought for Austin’s sixteenth birthday had been a splurge he couldn’t really afford. My tuition he’d so graciously paid for was something he never should have committed to.
It’d been a nasty wake up call.
Our mother hadn’t known, of course. She’d never been involved in any of that. I wished that she would have been, but she’d always deferred to him.
As much as I loved my parents, their relationship had never been the blueprint I wanted for my own. At the end of the day, they loved each other though, and for that I could be thankful that they raised me.
Even if my mother would never really understand me.
To be fair, I’d never really understood her. I would never be the perfect daughter to her. If I would have gone on to be a doctor or lawyer, she might have loved me a lot more. But art was part of my soul. I couldn’t not create it.
My phone buzzed in my apron pocket and I placed my paintbrush down on the palette. I answered without looking.
“Hello?”
“Hey.” Dallas’ voice surprised me. I immediately raised a brow. He rarely called. “What are you doing?”
“Working.” I narrowed my eyes. I was suspicious. “I’m painting.”
“Got it.”
“Why?”
“Just curious. I’m about to go pick up Levi’s car and take it back to the shop, and wondered if you were with him.”
Why in the hell would he wonder that? My nostrils flared. Had Austin said something? Knowing him, probably. “Nope. I’d make a bet Austin’s got him tied to his hip now. How about you call him up?”
Dallas chuckled and then let out a long sigh. Sometimes when he sighed like that, it reminded me of our dad. “I was just checking on you. You’ve been distant lately.”
“I literally saw you last Sunday.”
“Yeah, and? That was family dinner. We’re always there unless someone is sick. I meant aside from that.”
My throat thickened and I stood up, stretching from side to side. “I’ve been busy.”
“Busy with what?”
