Mateo
Nothing was okay.
Not really.
There were moments where it felt okay. Like when Avery woke up next to me and tangled her fingers in my hair. Or when she kissed me on the forehead. Or when I held her and we both did our best to forget about the world outside the walls of our bedrooms.
But it wasn’t okay.
Life had a way of bringing people into it that you never knew were missing to begin with. Levi was that for us. Every time I was at Avery’s, my gaze crossed the street to the yellow door.
One morning, there’d been a car in the driveway. I’d run across the moment I saw it, only to discover someone else was staying there. And they were really fucking confused as to why a Whynot firefighter was waking them up at six in the morning.
Another afternoon, I saw a photographer shooting pictures of the town on the street. From a distance, he’d been a tall muscled man—but the closer I got, the sooner I realized that he actually wasn’t. I still wasn’t sure if I’d seen a ghost or if I’d made him up in my head. Either way, he hadn’t been Levi.
It’d been six weeks. That was the fucked up part. We’d been apart from Levi as long as we’d known him, and the ache was still there. This giant, awful wound was prying apart my soul.
Avery and I had always been meant to be together. I knew that now more than anything. It’d taken us two years to get here, but if there was any sort of comfort, it was knowing I was in love with my actual best friend.
I was worried about her, though. She wasn’t painting. She hadn’t gone into her studio since Levi left. I was pretty sure the broken painting was exactly where we’d left it.
Austin had tried talking to her, but she was still avoiding him. She and Dallas had talked a few times, and were on better terms. He could at least own up to the fact that he’d fucked up by being too overprotective.
A knock on my truck’s window made me press my lips into a thin line. It was like the bastard knew I was thinking about him. There was no way to completely avoid Austin, but I was still mad.
I rolled down the window for Austin and he raked his fingers through his hair. The circles under his eyes had gotten worse. He looked like shit. It didn’t make me feel better.
“Can we talk?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” I said plainly.“Can we?”
“Please.”
I sighed and gestured to the passenger seat of my truck. I was technically on call, but was just sitting here waiting for something to come up. I had a thousand things I needed to knock out on the department checklist, but they could all wait.
Austin went around to the passenger side and opened the door, climbing in. The moment he shut the door, he ran his palms over his denim-clad thighs.
“I fucked up,” he said. “I really fucked up.”
“Again? Or do you mean what happened recently?”
“You know I mean recently,” he said.
“It’s been six weeks, and you haven’t apologized for a single fucking thing.”
“I tried to apologize to Avery?—”
“Avery isn’t the only person you hurt.”
“I know. I have my reasons for overreacting but they aren’t an excuse. I’m sorry for what I said to you. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry I haven’t apologized yet, but I just needed to try to make things right first. When I found out Levi left, I tried to reach out to him, but haven’t heard anything.”
“I just . . .” I trailed off, thinking long and hard for a moment. In my head, I’d gone over this conversation a few different times. Countless times, really. There was one thing that bothered me the most. “You know I would never hurt Avery the way Kevin did.”
“I know that. But I saw the bruises and lost it,” he whispered. “I know you’re kinky. And fuck, man. I don’t want to even think about that with my little sister. I jumped to conclusions. I didn’t stop to ask. I didn’t stop to do anything other than hurt everyone, Levi included.”
My hand tightened on the steering wheel. “Have you heard from him?”
“No. I’ve called. I’ve emailed. I even messaged his damn agent. I think she blocked me, actually, after I called fifty times in a row.”
